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December 31, 2004
Merry New Year?
It's New Year's Eve. I HATE New Year's Eve. Muchly. Despise might be a better term for the feeling. Ever since I can remember my New Year's Eves have been horrible. My parents/brothers would go out and party while I was here all by myself up in my room ringing in the new year alone. I saw all those happy people in that Times Square hugging and kissing and having someone to love. It's fucking depressing as hell. I usually ended up in tears by the time the ball fell because I felt so alone.
I'm sure those old feelings will come back this year. I'm sure Chris will go out. Lyndsey will be on the computer with Will. Mom might be here but she'll fall asleep, I'm sure. So once again, I'll feel alone. :(
I wish we could rent some movies, grab some grape soda, order some food, and forget about this dumb holiday. But...I'm sure it won't happen.
*sigh*
If I had an insane amount of alcohol to drown this sorrow in it might make it more bearable.
I need to go clean my room. :(
Posted by Nikalyn at 02:35 PM | Comments (4)
December 29, 2004
Poo!
If I lived in the LA area I could TOTALLY go see Val in concert on my birfday! Damn my luck!
Posted by Nikalyn at 02:11 PM | Comments (3)
December 27, 2004
Argh
I really need some friends or a boyfriend or something.
My life sucks.
No one likes me and no one talks to me.
I'm muchly ignored.
I've been sitting here staring at the tv mindlessly for awhile now...no im's or anything...no one ever talks to me...anywhere, ever.
I guess that's alright...
/End lame-o bitching that no one cares about.
Posted by Nikalyn at 12:43 AM | Comments (11)
December 24, 2004
Happy Jebusmas
Webcam picture.
That's all I'm saying.
Posted by Nikalyn at 04:31 PM | Comments (1)
Insert Title Here
Albeit corny and trite, all I really want for Christmas, is you.
Don't be sad. I'm always with you.
Posted by Nikalyn at 01:51 AM | Comments (0)
December 22, 2004
Jebusmas
Presents are wrapped. Under the tree. Most of my brother's and mother's presents are under there too so it's beginning to feel a bit like Christmas. I didn't even notice it was so close to Christmas to be honest with you.
Rusty's present is packaged and labeled just waiting for me to be NOT lazy and go mail it. However, I won't do it until the end of the month. I'm just glad I got it together.
Neither me nor my mother have heard from my "father" about his Christmas plans. Usually he comes over on Christmas to open the gifts with the rest of the family but this year no one has heard from him. I refuse to talk to him. I'm still mighty pissed about his flat out denial of helping me pay for Ireland when it's obvious he could have....we all know he has money. He knew it was my dream and he refused to even think it out...if it had been my brother, he would have tried. So I'm pissed at him. So...yeah, hopefully mom invites him over on Christmas morning, just so it looks normal.
Grandmother's for family Christmas on Friday, I guess? Our family is kinda growing out of the whole "Lets get together on Christmas" thing. After Great Gran died I think the whole episode started going downhill...Oh well. No one likes me much in my family anyway. Plus, most of my family are crazy drunks...I guess I won't be missing out on much if we stop having it.
I'm curious on what my dad bought me...if anything. I like his bears we got him.
I think I convinced Foofy to completely redesign my site layout for my birfday. I'm sick of the 3 part design. It's too cluttered. It will look somewhat like Rusty's. Entries, Banner, Webcam, and that's about it. I considered a tagboard but I hardly get comments so undoubtely I would not get "tags." So I guess that's a no.
Okay. Done.
Posted by Nikalyn at 11:54 PM | Comments (2)
December 21, 2004
Yup.
You know it's freaking true...
Posted by Nikalyn at 02:39 AM | Comments (0)
December 13, 2004
FOOT ASLEEP!!!!11
Life's a bitch.
True "dat"
I'm bored.
I'm boring.
I'm alone.
I'm LONELY.
I hate this.
I hate me.
Christmas shopping semi done. I didn't get Chris's hippity hop cd yet. I'm going to attempt to go get it today along with another gift for mom. She said there's a WIZ O OZ purse in the mall. This was the present I've wanted to get her from the start. 40 bucks. So, the figure will be her birfday present, which is tomorrow, and the purse her Jebusmas present. I also need to get her a card. And get money out for postage on Rusty's present. I wanted to get him something else...but I ran out of money. All in all I'll have to take out 80 bucks tomorrow meaning I'll have like 20 in the bank. 20 out of 900. Where the hell did that go? Bleh. Consumer whore.
No more touching bank funds until Feb!
Oh I also need wrapping paper. Shit. Fuck it, I'll use mom's or something cause I's broke...
Tuesday I plan to clean. I've been putting that off for a long time.
Sometime soon I need to send Rusty's package...heh, I said "Rusty's package," and wrap presents.
I saw a golem on MS today for the first time. Non MS'ers have no clue what I'm talking about...but it was scary! I fell in a pit of like 6 of them. HUGE, STONE LIKE CREATURES with a surprisingly adorable yellow flower on their head. 0_0 Luckily, I was invisible at the time, yay for being a thief!
Okay, done. Apparently I'm being distrupting and annoying. God, I hate myself.
P.S. Where the hell is Foofy and why can't we comment yet? Not that I would get them...awww sad...
Posted by Nikalyn at 02:24 AM | Comments (3)
December 08, 2004
GAY!
Yes...but I am damn, damn, damn cute!
Click to see it bigger!
Posted by Nikalyn at 02:04 AM | Comments (0)
December 07, 2004
I miss your voice being the first thing I hear in the morning...
I miss you.
Posted by Nikalyn at 03:11 AM | Comments (0)
December 05, 2004
I have been wearing the same hoodie for the past three days. I would feel dirty about this but I love this shirt and I am cold. It is soft and warm therefore...I am wearing it.
Maple Story takes up too much of my time. Although, I have no life nor no one to talk to so it's alright, I guess. One more level until I can wear all my cool gear, two more levels until I can become a bandit. I'm excited. I'm very pathetic.
I need to Christmas shop. It seems like effort. I need to clean. It seems like even more effort.
Oh, I was going to comment Lyndsey but it won't let me...of course. If you want you can help pick out presents for the people I haven't got and then we can just put your name on it. Kinda a reverse of last year. Just so you won't feel bad about not getting stuff for people. Next time you have a day off during the week we can go shop if you want. ;)
I don't know how much money I have left. Not a lot... :(
Um, I really don't know why I'm blogging. No one will read. No one will comment. Not that they can! Ha. Ha. 0_0
There's a cat on my lap. Maple Story calls...I guess. Fighting trees is boring... :(
Posted by Nikalyn at 04:28 PM | Comments (0)
December 01, 2004
I guess I don't matter?
*nods*
Okay. I'll just stop pretending then.
Posted by Nikalyn at 04:08 AM | Comments (0)