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October 31, 2004
Halloween
Tonight was Lyndsey's family's Halloween party. I was a reaper. Lyndsey was Cait Sith from FF 7.
Pictures.
My hottie is behind me. :) Chris! So g0th!
I would edit out the red eye...but it looks evil.
I was going to have post it notes like the reapers on Dead like me. But I knew no one would get the reference. I'd just be giggling at myself.
Trinidy, my evil niece. Just cause she looks kinda cute and non evil here.
Lyndsey as Cait Sith.
This is my favorite pic. I look hawt!
Look at my evil familiar kitty. She's evil! We kill together!
Okay. I'm done. I'm hungry.
P.S. Evil Dead II is crazy. But god damn is Bruce Campbell hot...
Posted by Nikalyn at 12:10 AM | Comments (0)
October 29, 2004
Figures
Nothing can be as good as I dream it is. I've been looking forward to today for the whole week. Dashboard tickets. Going to the bank to get my first atm card. Seeing my mom for a few hours. Fun time with Lyndsey. Mall. Saw.
But now everything is going shitty. Just like things usually do. Dashboard tickets are not to my enjoyment (See past entry) and now mom is yelling at me.
I never see her. She barely lives here. She's either at work or at her boyfriend's house. So why is it that the only times I see her she's mad at me for some unknown reason to myself? Why do I not know I'm doing things wrong? Am I just some big fuck up that can't do anything right? Apparently it seems that way. I want to spend time with my mom. She wants to bitch at me. Lovely.
It's either: The basement's a fucking mess, the house is a fucking mess, she has no money for bills, etc etc etc. I can never be right. I lose every time. Why can't she just be in a good mood for the few seconds I actually see her in a day?
She was supposed to come home and we were going to go up to the bank to set my bank account up. But she came down here bitching about how we waste our money on buying pizza and subway when there's food in the kitchen to be eaten. She said she's never cooking food for the house again because we never eat left overs and we let food go to waste. :-/
God.
Why can't things just be happy and pleasant?
Why is every day such a damn conflict?
I just want to be loved and fuck I can't even get that from my own family...
Apparently I'm just a big disappointment.
Which I guess is true...I have nothing going for me...
Maybe she has every right to hate me.
Everyone else does...
I'm going to bed.
Wake me up never.
:(
Posted by Nikalyn at 11:57 AM | Comments (2)
GOD DAMN IT
Since the OSU students got tickets free for the Dashboard concert they took up all the floor spots. The public had to buy the riser seats. RISER SEATS! Does this mean I can't inch close to the stage to see him? This fucking sucks. I hate being far back. :(
And worst of all I'm sure Cody is in the floor section so I won't even get to see him during this concert. :(
We won't get to go together.
Hopefully, this isn't the way things are.
I have the worst luck. Ever.
Posted by Nikalyn at 10:28 AM | Comments (0)
October 28, 2004
It's a good year for a murder...
I hate when people don't talk to you online unless they need something.
Unless they need advice.
Unless they need to ramble on about their life, their problems, their many adventures with the opposite sex.
They don't care about your life.
What you've been up to.
How you're feeling.
No, they just want to go on and on about themselves.
They asked you how you've been but then started talking about themselves before you get a chance to answer.
I'm not here for you to run to when you feel bad about cheating on your many girlfriends.
I'm not going to feel for you.
I don't do that shit.
I'm a big loser.
I can't even get ONE guy.
I don't want to hear how a million people are fighting for you.
How you can have as many dates as you want.
I already feel worthless.
Don't need to hear this shit.
I think I'm going to become a fucking nun.
There's no one out there for me.
Why am I so unlikable?
I don't smell. *sniffs self*
I'm sick of being alone.
I'm sick of having nothing that matters.
I'm sick of whining here.
I'm sick of me.
Sick, sick, sick.
*sigh*
I wish things were different.
I'd give anything...
I'm so sick of days that feel like the night...
Posted by Nikalyn at 03:53 PM | Comments (0)
October 25, 2004
Borked
I wish my cd burner worked. :( So I could burn cds and listen to them in my car.
This is what I want for Christmas. New cds. And a new computer. And IRELAND! Well, not the country. That would be crazy. But you get the picture.
I just wrote the worst paper...EVER.
Someone do my layout! I never have time to do it! And the blue is driving me insane. This is what I get for having a change...white and black is good.
An Adventurer is you!!
Kingdomofloathing.com!
:D
My accordian thief pwns you biotch.
I need a boy. :(
Open your eyes. I'm right here. I have been for a long while and will continue to be. When I said I loved you, I meant it. I won't forget you with the passing of time. You have my heart, forever and always. I miss you so much...Miss me sometimes, okay?
Posted by Nikalyn at 02:33 AM | Comments (2)
October 24, 2004
Bleh. :(
Well, I brought up Ireland to the mother and Mark today. Didn't get much of a response. Just some general comments about how they'd like to go to Ireland and such. Ugh. Crap. So I guess I'm not going. Unless my dad somehow became the nicest guy on Earth I don't see how it's going to happen. I don't have the money. Lyndsey doesn't have the money. Mom doesn't have the money. So yeah...
Maybe if I get a job soon I could get a credit card and charge it all and then pay it off gradually. But the job hunt isn't going well. The toy store said they were hiring in the next few weeks so I'm giving them a week or so to call. Then I'm going back out there and seeing if anywhere else will hire me. Bleh. This sucks. A lot. I just want to have a job and be unhappy in it like everyone else. Is that so much to ask for?
So yeah...I guess I'm giving up on the trip. Which is sad because I know it's like my only chance to EVER go and now I'll be stuck in this little run down town for the rest of my life. It's a sad thought. But it's true. And I guess I'll have to accept it now.
I guess this does leave me with lots of money for Christmas and to help mom out with bills and gas. *sigh*
I really wanted to go...:(
On a good note, Mom and Mark seem okay about taking me to Columbus to see Cody and Dashboard. She suprisingly said she would let me drive up there myself if I wanted. But...like I said, I don't want to drive up there by myself anyway. I told her the wrong date. I said the 27th by mistake and she said that was inventory at her store and couldn't miss it. But since it's really the 21st and on a Sunday I'm sure she'll be able to take me. But either way, I'm sure I could drive there if there's no other way...Bleh. I don't want to though! lol.
I'll go to the bank sometime this week and take some money out for the tickets, gas, and for Saw. Saw comes out Friday and I'm VERY excited. I've wanted to see it for so long now. Hopefully, it comes out in our stupid theater. If not I might have to shoot someone. Lyndsey gets off work at 4 on Friday so hopefully we can go see the late show and be scared all night. Yay! And then on Saturday is her family's Halloween Party. That's always a fun time. :) I think there's also a party at Shelly's sometime next week. Probably on Sunday since that's really Halloween. It should be a pretty fun week. I'm dressing up as a sexay reaper. Inspired by Dead like me but I'll end up just looking like a big goth. White face and black make up. Whoo. I was thinking of carrying post its with me with ETD's on them buuuuut I don't think anyone would get the reference. Maybe I should just carry a list with people's names on it who are going to die. Kinda like Santa! But with death!
Posted by Nikalyn at 02:00 PM | Comments (3)
October 22, 2004
Sad? Sad!
It's sad when the only comments one receives on their blog is from penis enlargement pills. And...considering I don't have a penis...more sad.
I bet if I had one it would need enlarging. Just because I'm a big loser. No one loves losers with small penises. No one loves me.
Except this cat. This cat loves me. Despite my small penis. But she doesn't count.
I want to be loved. That's all.
By the way, my professor, Tepe was talking about Tarzan today. He went to say "He was raised by apes." But instead said, "He was raped by apes." It was hilarious. Everyone laughed for like 5 minutes. Maybe it wasn't so funny. But considering how boring that class is, the stupidest thing can be found hilarious.
Me.Dashboard.Goodness.
I'm done.
Posted by Nikalyn at 11:10 PM | Comments (5)
October 21, 2004
Wha? Wha? What?!
Cody informed me tonight that OSU is having Dashboard as their free concert this year. OSU students don't have to pay but everyone else has to pay 20 bucks. That's cheap! I didn't know about this concert! I'm excited! I was actually thinking awhile ago that I was missing a DC concert. I felt so bad that I got sick during the last one. I'll have to make sure I don't do it during this one.
Anyway, Lyndsey can't go...she'll be going up to Will's and all that stuffs. So, considering I have no other friends...especially those who appreciate Dashboard...yeah, I guess I'm going alone on this one. I imagine I can rig up some plan about mom and Mark taking me up there and spending the day up there while I meet up with Cody and go to the concert. You know she would never let me drive up there alone. Never. Anyway, I doubt if I'd want to anyway considering I get lost in Marietta...
So yeah, I'll have to set up a plan. I'd bribe Cody to come down for the weekend and take me up there on Sunday or something but then he'd have to drive back down here and bring me home and that would be a lot of driving on a Sunday night. And I'm sure he'd have school the next day. Or is that break...? I don't know. He likes me but I don't think he likes me enough for me to bribe him to escort me up there. lol. Or could I...? *waves dollars in front of Cody's face*
:D
:D
But yeah, this makes me feel better. In the midst of the WORSE DAY EVER! Okay, maybe not ever. But it was bad. And this makes me happy. Dashboard always does that. Right when I'm teetering on some evil edge their concert brings me back and makes me happy again. :)
So yeah...something is going to have to work out. Cause I'm going. That's it. :)
P.S. I'm totally eating the vanilla icing tonight. I'll go buy her a new one. lol.
Posted by Nikalyn at 07:52 PM | Comments (0)
October 20, 2004
I need to stop skipping mythology.
Note to self: Never take a 9:30 class ever again.
P.S. No one cares.
Posted by Nikalyn at 10:07 AM | Comments (3)
October 19, 2004
Jobs!
I needs a jobbbb.
I went to get applications this morning. I got one and went to get one from Claire's and the lady told me that tomorrow there's a job fair for every store in the mall that is hiring. Sooooo, I'm just going to go there tomorrow after class and pick up applications. Hopefully I can get hired somewhere in the mall. I know it's going to be hell during the Christmas months but I'll deal. I'll go to work early and try to ignore stupid people. I'll be cool. Right now I just want a job.
I talked to dad about Ireland. It really doesn't look good. He said he'd help but he didn't know how much he could give since he'll be out of work until the new year because he hurt his back. Ugh. Such bad timing. He said if I get a job we can start thinking about credit cards maybe but until then...there's really not much we can do. I haven't talked to mom and Mark about it. I never see them together. Usually when I see mom she's always in a bad mood about something so...yeah. I know what she'd say anyway. That we don't even have money to pay for bills and Christmas and would start complaining that Chris doesn't give her money and that no one helps around the house. That whole spiel. I know maybe if Mark is there he'd be more helpful. Hopefully, I see them soon. There's not a registration date for the trip but all of the money has to be in the by first of December so...yeah...:(
I mean, they could just make it my Christmas/Birthday present. I really don't need/want anything else. I did want a computer...but I guess this one is fine for now. If I get the job I can just save up on my own after the trip. No big deal.
But yeah, either way. I need a job. And I need one now. Bleh.
By the way, Chris Carrabba is the most gorgeous man in the world. Sometimes I forget that. I had a good dream about him last night. So pretty!! :D
Posted by Nikalyn at 07:56 PM | Comments (0)
October 18, 2004
I'm sad. I'm sad cause Dave has a girlfriend so I can't move in with him anymore. :( :(
Nah. I knew I couldn't keep him to myself forever. He's too cute and sweet to be single for long! :P :P Glad you're happy honey. :)
I'm not going to class tomorrow. Any of them. I'm sleeping in and then going for job applications. Later I'm going over to dad's to talk to him about Ireland and see what he says.
I'm not very positive. But who knows what may happen.
Wish me luck.
Posted by Nikalyn at 08:54 PM | Comments (1)
October 15, 2004
Ireland
Man, you have no clue how much I want to go on this school trip. Ireland is the one place I've wanted to visit above any other. I always feared I'd never leave the country, which a sad thing since I hate it here, but now I think I have a great opportunity to visit my dream place.
The problem is...money. Like always, right? The trip is around 1700 per person. We don't have to pay right away but 30 days after you register on the site you have to put a down payment of 400 dollars. The rest of the money is due the beginning of December. Currently I have 970 some on me. And probably at least a hundred in the bank. This leaves us quite short. Plus there's Christmas to worry about! :(
I say us because I would hate to go without Lyndsey. Actually, I wouldn't go without her. I would have to experience that with her. Plus, she'd probably kill me if I went and left her behind. So...if we can somehow sit down and think of ways to get the rest of the money I could probably pay for both of our down payments as soon as possible.
Maybe one of us could get a credit card? Don't they make cards for trips and stuff? Isn't that one of their purposes? I know Miso is going to England this winter and put it all on a credit card. Maybe we could do it?
I'm planning on consulting my dad about the trip this weekend to see if he has any ideas. I don't know if he has any big money stored away or not. But apparently he had/or has to have back surgery soon so he'll be out of work for a few months...:( He'll probably use this as a way of not shelling out any cash. And I KNOW what mom will say, that she doesn't have any money. I don't know if any of Lyndsey's family would loan out any money but since Lyndsey hasn't went to them in the past I doubt that would be an option.
I've thought of other ideas such as maybe even asking my mom to borrow money from our rich aunt as a loan to be paid back. Or hell, maybe even from Mark. He's fucking redoing his house. He must have some money.
But yeah, those are some of the thoughts I've had so far. Got any others? I know it's going to be hard considering Lyndsey also has the whole Will trip to plan for...but I really, really, really want to go. I don't think I've wanted anything more. I'll do what it takes.
Posted by Nikalyn at 11:57 AM | Comments (0)
October 14, 2004
I want to go to Ireland.
I emailed the guy about the class trip. It's like the final sign up or something. Why did they not have another meeting? I just saw the flier spring quarter and couldn't go cause I had math class that night. So all this time I've been waiting for them to have another meeting. Apparently they had one Monday. Didn't see anything about that either! Grrrr.
Apparently its like 1800 or something for the trip. I don't know if that's cheap or not. I wonder when they need money for it. Or if they do payments. Or what. I don't know how to do this shit. But I think it would the GREATEST trip for Lyndsey and I to go on. We'd be by ourselves, essentially, and we'd be out of the country! *dance*
You know going to Ireland is my dream...right?
:)
I hope he emails back soon.
Posted by Nikalyn at 06:58 PM | Comments (4)
October 13, 2004
MMmmmm
They need to stop showing Olive Garden commercials on tv. That shit sounds so good right now. I want real food. I want to go eat out and stuff myself full of yummy goodness.
Today's mom's day off. Of course she's not here again. I asked her if she was coming home and she said yeah around 10. Uh, I didn't ask when you'd be home to sleep. I asked when you'd be home to spend time with me. :(
But yeah, I want bread sticks, mushrooms, pasta, and yummy salad. Maybe even dessert! 0_0
*collects drool in bucket*
Posted by Nikalyn at 03:50 PM | Comments (2)
October 12, 2004
Sad :(
I hate when the thing you want to do most is sleep and you can't. :(
I have 50 plus pages to read/study tonight for a test tomorrow. I've really set the bar quite high since I practically failed my last test in there.
I said I was going to go job hunting Monday. Monday turned into Tuesday. Tuesday turned into Wednesday. Now I'm thinking I should just wait until Monday. Tomorrow I have a test and a paper to write, Thursday I'm in class all day, and Friday...well, I just think Fridays aren't good days to hunt for jobs. Since its the end of the week and all.
I guess I have to wait until Monday.
Someone reassure me that I'm doing the right thing here. It's good to wait until Monday, right? Beginning of the week stuff. Plus, Monday I only have one class. I can get up early, take shower, get dressed, look hot, go to class, and hit possible places of employment on the way home. I could go the Vienna way home and hit the mall and any place that looks good. Then maybe hit some Belpre places on the way through.
Does this sound good? I really just need something to back up my not going this week. I feel bad. I really want a job. I want my own money. I want to help mom pay for things. I want to be able to pay for my own gas. I actually want something to do outside of the computer and school. I want some interaction. So, it's not like I'm trying to avoid it. I'm not. Things just get...mixed up. :(
Anyway, back to that studying thing. I hope I don't fall asleep on the couch...
Posted by Nikalyn at 11:10 PM | Comments (2)
October 11, 2004
R.I.P
Rest in Peace BobertBobersonThe3rd.
You were so beautiful and grey!
I'll get you back someday!! I promise!!
*sobs*
Neopets is a vengeful bitch!!
Posted by Nikalyn at 02:52 PM | Comments (2)
October 09, 2004
My heart hurts...
I don't want to be alone anymore.
Posted by Nikalyn at 07:14 PM | Comments (5)
October 08, 2004
Donde esta Waldo?
0_0
I got nothing...
I had a dream about the Killer Klowns from Outer Space. If you haven't seen this movie and like cheesy horror movies I recommend. It's so scary! Clowns! Wrapping you up in cotton candy and drinking your blood through a straw!!! Anyway, I was a cool super hero who could zap the clowns away with just a flip of my wrist. I also had this cool navigation system using runes. I don't know...don't ask me!
Posted by Nikalyn at 01:09 PM | Comments (2)
October 04, 2004
HELP!!
Okay, I call upon every single person who reads this entry right now. I need your help desperately. And if I don't get comments I may kill you all.
The problem: A school project for my developmental psych class. (Never take it. It's satan) I have to make a toy. You heard me. Make a toy. But the toy has to be creative and help with the developing process...meaning educational...I actually have to construct this bitch. I can't just draw it. Therefore not only do I need ideas about what kind of toy to make I also need ideas on how the hell to make it. So...no big electronic toys here. Something I can make a prototype with.
Help me out guys! Ask everyone you know for suggestions. Go ask your mom, dad, brother, sister, if you know someone who is in a child field of work that would be great! I have absolutely NO ideas what so ever. And even if I did I wouldn't know how to make the thing.
Go! Run out and think of some ideas for me! Comment! You BETTER comment and help me! I WILL KILL YOU! 0:)
I'll go think. You go think. We'll meet back here in...um, oh, soon!
Thank you for the help in advance.
Posted by Nikalyn at 12:46 PM | Comments (5)
October 03, 2004
Right...I got out the pictures. It sounded like a HORRIBLE idea at the time. But I did it anyway. I figured I'd get so depressed at them considering once we broke up I burnt them on a cd and swore to never look at them again. I figured I'd cry or at least get sad. So...how am I?
Quite honestly my stomach hurts from laughing so much.
We were fucking hilarious. lol.
Remember that huge photo shoot we three had with all the props? Like Bubba and Elmo and Scooby Doo and Gambit? I forgot how funny those things were.
Haha. We were such goofs!
I'm still not sure why I got it out though. I guess cause I needed proof that it actually happened. I was beginning to think I was just imagining it.
I'm sorry for whatever I did to make you go. I miss the times we had. I miss us. I miss you.
<3
Posted by Nikalyn at 03:39 PM | Comments (0)
I'm still waiting...
Do you remember?
As sad as it is, I'll wait forever for you. I just hope you show up one day...
Yours,
Posted by Nikalyn at 03:53 AM | Comments (0)