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June 30, 2004
I'm going a bit crazy.
I'm going a bit crazy. Two days is far too long to go without...
I wanna go drive somewhere. I missed driving and my car. I really just want to drive somewhere and listen to my music and sing along and just be cool. Wow that was a lot of "and"'s. I need a destination. And oh lord do I need a life.
I wrote a poem last night. It's lame and just plain horrible. It rhymes a bit too much. :-/
Ugh.
Posted by Nikalyn at 02:19 PM | Comments (0)
June 29, 2004
Got Turpentine?
I have paint all over me. And it's not coming off. Oh no! I'll be known as the girl with the weird spotty skin for the rest of my life! Le gasp!
P.S. I el miss-o el Cody-o.
P.S.S. My car is el fixed-o.
P.S.S.S. I'm el gay-o.
I bought a new lil friend at the drug store today. No, not drugs. A lil retar...no, "special" penguin for .52 $. Considering the price and teh abnormal way his head tilts to the side...he is rather..."special"
I may name him Howard.
Posted by Nikalyn at 04:53 PM | Comments (6)
June 28, 2004
*stares blankly* *blinks* *holds back
*stares blankly*
*blinks*
*holds back urge to throw up*
*glances at clock*
*whimpers*
*faints*
Posted by Nikalyn at 10:14 AM | Comments (0)
June 27, 2004
Okay
She annoys me and for a considerable amount of time I don't like her...but this is the cutest fucking picture. I'm very proud of myself on this one...
My niece, Trinidy:
Today's a very good day.
Posted by Nikalyn at 06:17 PM | Comments (5)
June 26, 2004
Best. Desktop. Ever!
I'm the funniest person alive.
Please direct your attention to my newest desktop creation.
<-------
Fuck. I'm awesome.
Posted by Nikalyn at 07:27 PM | Comments (4)
June 25, 2004
Random
So I walk down here and turn on the ol computer only to find a single rose on my desk.
Awwww.
She's so uber sweet.
My day is made. :)
The layout headers are made. Although, I'm really not sure about them...they might be smaller than I'd like.
I need to think of colour schemes and title buttons. Oh, that just seems like ever so much effort.
My car is in the shop until next week. :-/ My brother has my mom's car so we're pretty much stranded this weekend. Fucking gay...
I want CAKE! Or cupcakes! Oooh frozen cupcakes. I would eat like 5 of them.
I really have the munchies. No car...:(
Posted by Nikalyn at 06:31 PM | Comments (3)
June 24, 2004
I want a new webcam
I want a new webcam for Christmas.
This one is so horribly dark...*kicks the picture quality*
You could have every light in the house on and it's still dark.
Hey! There's a green pepper in my olives!
Yeah, that cam really is dying I think. How sad.
Posted by Nikalyn at 05:50 PM | Comments (1)
Bend the pieces til they fit
"This is where I say I've had enough. No one should ever feel the way that I feel now..."
I feel shitty.
I'm in a really dreadful mood really.
Does anyone care? Not really. Stating it anyway. Oh well.
Days go by so fast without purpose or meaning. I hate this feeling that nothing gets accomplished, nothing gets done. I feel useless and insignificant and futile. Wow. Synonyms are my friends.
"A walking open wound, a trophy display of bruises..."
I wake up at 1 or 2. Watch tv until Lyndsey wakes up...which usually isn't until 3 or 4. Then I realize it's 5 and half the day has went past. I then sit on the computer or play video games or watch movies until 4 am. Then I go to bed. Lather, rinse, repeat. How fucking lame. I'm fucking lame. I need to break the cycle. I need to start doing things that matter, so I can say I actually did something productive within the day.
I was going to work on a layout. I had an idea. I had some images. But now it all seems stupid once again. I don't feel like touching it. Fuck it. Who even cares?
I downloaded the second season of 6 feet under. Watched the first 4 episodes today since I have no life nor ambition. Sad that I can't seem to find the 3 season. Ugh. Typical. I think I may download some seasons of the Simpsons after I get done with this season. I miss old school Simpsons.
Random points: 1.) Mom bought me a new purse since my old one was trashed. Not sure if I like it. It seems small. Maybe I'll like it more when I break it in. 2.) Recharged my cam batteries. Happy that this recharger actually charges. 3.) My car is leaking something. Can't drive it. Parents have said for three days they were going to take it to get looked at...surprise, they haven't. 4.) I'm lonely. And sad. 5.) Asian penguins are still cracking me up.
I've been wearing pjs for 3 days or so. I feel crappy. Like a bum. I mean, I like it. But I know I look like shit. Very self conscious. It really doesn't help that Lyndsey's had her cam on almost every day. I bet for those instances where you can see me that I look like crap...Oh well...not like anyone cares what I look like.
Happy Birthday Miso! Have a great one! :)
I almost have 2 mil neopoints on neopets. Whee. Someone needs to donate 20k to me. It's nice to set goals and reach them. Even if they're only on neopets. Now...do I want to buy one pirate paint brush and paint one of my pets or buy all four pirate pet pet paint brushes? Hrm...the decision seems obvious enough...
Whee. Just got to 2 million neopoints. I rock it out. Too bad I have to spend it...
Well...I'm sure there was something else I wanted to whine about. Oh well.
Hrm...I just want something that means something. I want to feel like I matter, like I stand for things, that I mean something special to someone...
I just want to feel something besides this...crappy numbness. Ugh...don't mind me. It's stupid and futile.
"...And I don't believe that I'm getting any better. Any better..."
Posted by Nikalyn at 04:11 AM | Comments (3)
June 22, 2004
Welp...
I can't seem to get my title icon things to size up right. They look awkward now. Or maybe they always did and I just never noticed. Hrm.
I suppose I need a new layout anyway. I wanted a Harry Potter one for awhile. I had images made but now they seem lame. I really want to incorporate "This Ruined Puzzle" or "Pictures of Shorelines" into it. Although the images that I could use escape me. With the Ruined Puzzle one I always wanted to make the main image look as if it's going down stairs to represent a basement since it has lines in it about a basement. I can't find any images that go with my thought. For Pictures of Shorelines I have a cool picture I took at the park that I could use but I'm not sure what the second image would be since I don't want to get rid of the fade thing.
Blah. It seems like too much effort to make another layout right now. Even though I need to. Just fixing stuff tonight made me tired.
I'll think about it I suppose.
Posted by Nikalyn at 04:09 AM | Comments (2)
June 20, 2004
I'm updating cause Lynz is! And she's the bomb!
Tonight went great! So fun!
We left the house at around 6:30 because I only vaguely remembered how to get to the restaraunt where we were meeting Cody and friends. However, my memory seemed to be much better than I imagined and I got Lyndsey there without a flaw. Well...she did miss the parking lot and ended up driving around some big trucks...but yeah. lol. Anyway, we sat in the parking lot for 45 minutes or so and waited. From the parking lot you could see the clock on the Marietta court house and I want to take a picture of it sometime. It seems like it would make a great shot. I'll add that to the list of things I want to shoot one day. Anyway, we finally met up with Cody, Deirdre, Jamie, Ryan, and Stephen and got some food. At first it was a bit awkward since we didn't know them and they all had so much history together but after awhile I felt very comfortable around them.
The food itself was alright. I myself prefer the greatness that is El Ranchero. But it was good none the less. For some reason I got full really quick and couldn't finish my dish though. Odd...considering I hadn't eaten all day.
We then went bar hopping to three different bars. Surprisingly, we never got carded in any of them. We sat and talked and watched the group get tipsy and then laughed at their antics. Deirdre shared her drinks with us and I kept stealing drinks of Cody's drink...which was VERY good I might add. Later at another bar those two bought us a shot of...well, not really sure what it was. Apparently the girl who made it couldn't make drinks well. But oh well. It gave the same results I suppose.
After the bars we all went and sat down by the river and just chatted away. They're all so funny! And very intelligent! I loved hanging out with them.
We headed back to the cars and attempted to take Stephen to Ryan's house to get his car. Cody rode with us because we had no idea where to go. He's fucking hilarious. He's normally so reserved at school. It was weird but great to see this other side of him. He kept telling Lyndsey how to drive and feared we would kill him. lol. Nah, we'd never do that...or would we? *scary music*
They were all going to The Mountaineer to have a late night snack but Lyndsey had to get home to Will and I needed to go buy dad a father's day card still. So we parted with our newly formed friends and headed to Walmart. Wow. There are NO father's day cards left. I really had no idea this was such a Hallmark holiday! I settled with this card that had a Thai samurai guy on it and on the inside it said something along the lines of "I thought you'd like a Father's Day Thai." Hahah get it? Thai = Tie! Hahahaha! Keep in mind this might only be funny cause I've had some drinks in me and it's a bit late. But it'll have to do considering there's NO cards available in that place. Why am I such a slacker?
I figured I'd get a long talking to by mother when I got home. I figured I'd get my ass chewed out for being out so late and being with people she didn't know. She seems to forget I'm 19 years old... but luckily she was still out when we got in. Yay. No stern talking to for me.
But in conclusion I had mucho fun. I love Cody's friends. I hope we get to hang out more. I hope it becomes a more regular thing. We really do need more social interaction. I really think it would be great to have a posse of friends to do things with. Haha. Wishful thinking I suppose. But it sounds lovely.
So...I had so much fun! I can't wait to do it again! Cody, you've got some great friends there. I really hope they all liked us as well. We tried to be on our best behavior. 0:) I hope they all had fun with us like we did with them.
Wow. I'm a bit a lot happy.
Posted by Nikalyn at 03:50 AM | Comments (3)
June 18, 2004
I've decided that when I
I've decided that when I grow up I want to work on TechTv. No, I take that back. I want to work on X-Play. I want to steal that job away from stupid Morgan Webb and I want to ravish Adam Sessler.
I really think it's my calling.
I heart that man.
By the way...what am I wearing tomorrow?
Posted by Nikalyn at 06:24 PM | Comments (3)
June 17, 2004
I just realized...
I have absolutely nothing pretty to wear Saturday...
I want to go for sexy but comfortable yet casual...I have nothing that fits that label. I mean, all I really need is a new shirt or something. I have pants. My shirt collection is...lacking.
I hate acting like a girl.
Right...so seriously now, what the hell am I going to wear? I have no good clothes!
Gah! Social situations make me nervous!
I'm seriously going to have Lyndsey dress me and make me pretty. LoL.
Posted by Nikalyn at 03:50 PM | Comments (5)
This basement's a coffin; I'm buried alive.
I'm fucking stupid.
I want to crawl in a hole and hide/cry/die. Pick any of the three options.
I'm mad at myself that I let it come to this point. I'm a bit relieved. A bit.
I'm not sure if it's better this way. Chance said so. He said at least I have an answer. At least I'm not in the dark. But I've always been so fond of the dark...
I'm excited about hanging with him. In the back of my mind I will be silently cursing myself and hitting myself with an invisible mallet. But...if it didn't happen would I still be getting this opportunity for new experiences? Probably not. So...it's a good thing?
I don't know. I would definately change a lot if I could.
Why am I such a lame...person? God, I couldn't even think of a good slam for myself. Gah!
I don't know...maybe someday...right? There's always hope.
Ah, fuck it. I don't know what I'm talking about now.
My head hurts.
I think I'm just destined for rejection and alone...time.
Hrm, you guys love me, right?
*sighs*
Posted by Nikalyn at 02:56 AM | Comments (5)
June 15, 2004
Conflicted
I feel a bit conflicted. How can I be so sad, so relieved, and so excited all at the same time?
Cody invited Lyndsey and I to hang out with his friends Saturday. I'm excited. Although I'm going to be constantly worrying about everything in the back of my mind. His friend also knows so...I'm going to be worried what she's thinking of me.
Lyndsey has to work but I'm forcing her to take it off or at least leave early! lol. He said they usually meet around 7 but he said he'd figure out a time and tell us later this week.
So...essentially, I got rejected and got a "date" on the same day.
Conflicted I tell you. Conflicted.
I love you Lyndsey. :)
Posted by Nikalyn at 06:06 PM | Comments (2)
I got all A's. Yay?
I got all A's. Yay?
:(
Posted by Nikalyn at 04:37 PM | Comments (2)
I give up...I think.
He apparently figured out who he was going with. And since I haven't talked to him in two days...it's not me. Although, why would I figure it would be?
I suppose underneath this layer of negativity lies this dreadful flicker of hope. One that just keeps burning even though I know nothing that I'm wishing for will ever materialize. Even though I'm so upfront and negative, in the back of my mind I keep wishing...hoping...that things could work out the way I wanted.
I tried. I wanted it so much. You know? Not even in a romantic sense but a friendship. It has to be double sided. Both parties have to want it to work out. And well...apparently he doesn't?
I really felt this connection. Maybe I wanted it to be there so much that I invented it? I thought if only I could spend more time with him I could win him over with my charm and witty personality. I mean, I know I'm not much to look at...but I thought...
I'm not sure.
Wow...look at that...crying. Not really crying. Tears I suppose. I've always found it amusing how when a tear forms I always let it fall.
How odd that he's talking to me now.
Way to twist the knife. I suppose he doesn't know about the knife. But it's there...
It's always there.
And I know I make no sense. But who cares.
But yeah, I think I give up. My efforts seem fruitless.
P.S. I really shouldn't talk to him when I'm so frustrated/sad at him. I'm certain I will scare him off...more, or make him think I'm a total psycho...which I guess I am.
P.S.S. He called me a kid. That's never good.
P.S.S.S. He knows...
Posted by Nikalyn at 03:32 PM | Comments (3)
Faggoty Survey
Have you ever...
Hit someone forcefully: Probably not.
Seen "Are you Afraid of the Dark": In the day when Nickelodeon was cool
Thrown anything at a moving car: No
Been in a fist fight: No.
Laughed so hard you cried: Yes, I suppose I have.
Hit an animal in the road? Twice. A squirrel which I then got made fun of on many occasions and was nicknamed Squirrel killer for a week or so. And more recently a bird. Actually I think it was two for one since two dumb ass birds were fighting in the street and I couldn't stop.
Other
Who do you sit with at lunch: My invisible friend.
Do you think Justin Timberlake is hot or not: No.
Who gave you a Valentine card this year: I can't remember. Lynz gave me things but I don't think I got a card.
Favorite shoes you own: My sketchers
What color would you dye your hair: The color it is. Black just to try it.
Who are you closest friends: Lyndsey. I'd like to say Cody but that might be lying to myself.
What is something you wish you could have that someone else has: Love? Acceptance? A life that isn't going to waste? I really shouldn't do these when I'm sad.
Favorite TV show: Well it was Buffy or Angel. But they don't exist anymore. 6 feet under is quickly filling the spot.
Make-up or none: Yeah, usually. Not a lot though.
Do you believe we landed on the moon: I suppose?
What are you wearing now: Jeans, Dashboad shirt, tanktop under it. I really have too much clothes on.
What song is stuck in your head: Nothing at the moment. Odd.
Junk...
How old are you mentally: Much older. And bitter. How sad.
Describe yourself in 5 words: Searching, hoping, dreaming, giving, empty.(Once again, I shouldn't do this when I'm sad)
Do you dream at night: Yeah, I hardly ever remember though.
Do you remember your dreams: I think I just said...
Do you sleep with one pillow or two: I have a million.
Do you like school: I did...
Whats your fave subject: Literature classes.
Do you have a best friend(s): Yes.
Do you have a religion: Nikconian religion. Apparently it's a cross between Nikalyn and Conan? Not sure where I got that word...
Do you practice it: In my head.
Does death scare you: A bit.
Do you watch tons of tv: No. Nothing's on anymore.
How many times have you been to the movies in the past 6 months: A lot.
Do you read magazines: No.
Whats your fave band: Dashboard
Name 3 cds that youve bought in the last year: I can't even remember the last cd I actually bought...
Do you wear makeup regularly: Lip gloss. I need new makeup. *sighs*
Are you a saver or a spender: I have no money.
More Junk...
Which 5 people do you trust and are open with the most: Five? Fuck...
Lyndsey, Chance, Miso, Sarah, and Aries of late.
Can you live without the microwave: I suppose not.
Who's phone number are you hoping to get: His?
Which guy/girl do you wish to be with RIGHT now: I think I may cry. :(
Would you rather eat sandwiches or pasta for the rest of your life: sandwiches...Well, they have to be good ones. Like Subway. Mmm.
Football or rugby: Fugby? Rootball?
What's something you ALWAYS have on you: Jewerly
What do you think of guys with nail polish: Sometimes I have it on. It's such a bother though. And mine always smudges or chips. Ugh...
What's a happy memory of a time you've spent with the opposite sex: I suppose many Jeremy memories...although, I'm sure he doesn't ever think about them nor did them mean anything to him so...I'm not fucking sure. There's a few Cody memories that were nice...
What's the nicest thing any one has ever told you: Can't say I recall...Was there any?
What's your favorite fast food restaurant: Subway
Favorite book: LOTR
More Junk...
Did you read Fear Street books: No?
How about SweetValley High: Yeah, I read those. I was a faggot.
Babysitter's club: I recall having a lot of them.
Goosebumps: *points to the bookshelf* Yes...
Favorite show on nickelodeon (can be from the late 80's/early 90's when nick was good): Hey, I just commented about the time when Nick was good! Right on. Anyway, I LOVED Rocko. Recently I saw an old episode of Hey Dude on there. I miss that show! I forgot it existed!
What movie could you watch a million times and never get tired of: All of my favorite movies?
What was the last song you heard: Now the Hey Dude theme song is going around in my brain...Fuck...
Find anything good on sale lately: I found something good on Neopets! A scratchcard for 600 np instead of 800np. I made a profit! God, I'm fucking lame...
If you won the lottery, what would you do: Never worry again. Move to England. Buy a penguin
Ever seen a Beatles film: No?
Happy with your life: No...No, I'm not. Has it been made painfully obvious? God, never do these things when I'm unhappy again.
I want to watch the 10th kingdom. I miss it. It reminds me of Gerry.
It's long. I wouldn't get finished watching it tonight therefore I'd be even sadder.
So...I guess I'll sit here some more.
Posted by Nikalyn at 12:31 AM | Comments (0)
I'm sad. I suppose I
I'm sad.
I suppose I shouldn't have got my hopes up. I suppose I shouldn't dreamed about it last night. Typical.
I'm bored. And depressed.
And I really want to watch The 10th Kingdom but it's long and I wouldn't finish it tonight. And that would just make me even more sad.
I would play Kingdom Hearts but I'm close to the boss and I really don't want to upset myself more.
So here I sit. Being...*sighs* Not sure what.
I'm fucking stupid.
A faggoty survey to take up time until I die? Sure. Why not.
Soon to come.
Posted by Nikalyn at 12:04 AM | Comments (1)
June 13, 2004
Cleaning
Right...so...my mother decided to move around furniture today. This was of course not my idea but was sucked into it and made to lift furniture. After moving various pieces various places and getting stuck in all kinds of corners and crevices, the basement furniture is set.
It looks...oddly liveable. You know, besides the shit scattered around the nice furniture. The cats are freaking out because there's a couch down here for them to hide under.
Other than the nice furniture area this place is TRASHED. When Lyndsey gets home we're doing some heavy duty cleaning. We are going through, under, over, and between everything in this room. We will be cleaning junkies!
God, it sounds like too much fucking fun!!
On a side note, I've taken up watching 6 feet under in order to fill that Angel/Buffy/all other good shows void in my life. It's quickly becoming one of my favorite shows. At least it will keep me busy until The Amazing Race and Big Brother start up. I downloaded the first season yesterday and am now to episode 6. The 4th season starts up tonight and even though I only have a small inkling as to the happenings of the past three seasons I will be excited and watch it anyway. :)
Peter Krause is much man. I've liked that fucker since Sports Night. Mmm.
Someone else who rocks my socks? Fredryk Phox. But that's just a given...right? His stuff is amazingly entertaining. And would it make me less of a fan and more of an obsessed groupie if I noted that he is much gorgeous? Ah, fuck it.
Okay, I seriously need a shower. I am skanky, my legs are a tad hairy, and I may smell...just a bit!! Mom wouldn't let me take a shower! She made me clean!
*sighs* You're a sad, sad girl Nikalyn...
Although, see I'm going to take a shower and get all nice and good smellin' and hairless and then start cleaning again when Lyndsey gets home. And thereby getting all icky and dirty once more. So...it really defeats the purpose of a shower.
Fuck. I'm a bit screwed either way.
Bitch.
Posted by Nikalyn at 07:45 PM | Comments (0)
June 12, 2004
Fuck nah!?
I GOT AN A IN COLLEGE ALGEBRA! I GOT AN A IN COLLEGE ALGEBRA! I GOT AN A IN COLLEGE ALGEBRA!!!!!
What do you think of me now, bitch?! Yeah? Bring it!
I know my mother fucking calculus bitches!
U+ME=US!
Posted by Nikalyn at 08:25 PM | Comments (5)
June 10, 2004
Pwn3d
I want to direct you to my background image.
http://aspyre.net/nikalyn/content/desktop.jpg
I'm fucking hilarious.
Or I'm a l4m3r.
Not sure which?
For all you losers who don't know what that's from. Harry Potter being thrown into the bus window in POA.
If you didn't know what that was from you sux0r!
Okay, I'm l33t today.
M4d sk1llz. Wh4t's th3 d34l? Br1ng 1t t0 th3 p4rty g1ve th3m s0m3th1ng t0 f33l!
Lm40.
1 w1ll st0p n0w. 1 sw34r!
Posted by Nikalyn at 05:25 PM | Comments (1)
June 09, 2004
The sky screams your name
I don't want to bother people with my photography. But I will post this one. It's my favorite.
Maybe I'll post more later.
Posted by Nikalyn at 06:10 PM | Comments (6)
June 08, 2004
My computer has been acting
My computer has been acting up today. Being all laggy and having some errors. It's all around pissing me off.
So...I think I'll do some spring cleaning. Clean out my computer and do scans and all that good stuff.
Hopefully it will make things better. I'm getting pissed.
Posted by Nikalyn at 02:39 PM | Comments (0)
Hahahahah!
Not correctly typed I'm sure. But you get the jist. Taken from The Daily show tonight. Funniest thing in the world!
EDIT: I corrected it. Now it's right. God, it's even better the third time watching it!
Grandma Millie: Hello?
Enron trader: Is this Grandma Millie?
Grandma Millie: Yes dear?
Enron trader: I'm taking your energy, bitch!
Grandma Millie: What?
Enron trader: Hahaha
Grandma Millie: But I need that energy to bake pies for the little orphans...
Enron trader: Your orphans can eat my ass!
Grandma Millie: Oh, dear lord!
Enron Trader: God can't save you now you stupid, old whore!
Grandma Millie: Oh, my hip just cracked from sadness...
Posted by Nikalyn at 01:14 AM | Comments (3)
June 06, 2004
Wowzers!
Right...so I've been slacking considerately on this paper. Is that spelled right? Oh, fuck it. Anyway, on top of writing 1001 words on this paper so far I've also made over 35,000 np on Neopets, roughly designed the new banner for my Harry Potter layout, and downloaded EVERY VAL SONG from some nice girl! Yay!
I posted a message on a Val lj community asking if there were any mp3s floating around considering I've been looking for months now...and this girl said to im her later and she'd send me two. I thought, "Hey, well three Val songs are better than the one song I have now." so I im'd her. Well, she ended up sending me EVERY song. So nice!!
I still really would like to buy his cd. So...one day when I have money or something I might pick it up. But right now I'm burning these suckers to listen on my way to failing exams tomorrow!
Whee!
Also...is it wrong that I probably won't get to study for my Sociology test and I really don't care? Hrm. How sad.
P.S. Wil Wheaton really is fucking hot. Just letting you know...ya know... :)
Posted by Nikalyn at 08:50 PM | Comments (3)
One day there was a
One day there was a girl named Nikalyn who kept getting distracted whilst trying to write two 6 page final papers due Tuesday. I hate that girl!
Also, for some reason a past boyfriend popped into my head today. Gerry was kind and gentle and somewhat child like. I loved him a lot until a couple people fucked things up...I miss him a lot. Wonder what he's up to now?
Right...back to this essay writing I suppose.
I have the beginning paragraph and a partial paragraph about Walden on here.
Listening to FF 8 music in a lame attempt to contact hidden brain cell and to get this ball a rollin'.
Lord, just strike me down now!
Posted by Nikalyn at 04:40 PM | Comments (0)
Right...after neopets I swear to
Right...after neopets I swear to god I will write papers.
Posted by Nikalyn at 12:49 PM | Comments (0)
Annoyed... I suppose I'll go
Annoyed...
I suppose I'll go to sleep now.
...
Posted by Nikalyn at 03:55 AM | Comments (0)
June 05, 2004
Potterific
Saw Harry Potter last night. Loved it. :) It left out stuff but that has to be expected. The teenagers behind us were horrible. They were loud and disruptive and talked and made stupid comments throughout the entire movie. Kids today are horrible. What the hell happened? I was never that bad.
One girl who I nicknamed Cliffnotes proceeded to tell what was going to happen in every single scene. She must have been very proud that she read the book. More than likely because it was the only book she'd ever read. If I hadn't read the book and didn't know how it ended I would have been awfully pissed. Well, I already was awfully pissed...
Anyway, I very much want to rape Daniel. It's so wrong! He's so young! I shouldn't feel that way! Robbing the cradle here Nik! Mmmm...sexy.
I still have to write two final papers for school and finish my American lit journals. I plan on starting all of this tonight and working on it Sunday and Monday. I have two finals on Monday and then everything is due on Tuesday. Ah, hectic.
I haven't seen Cody lately. I'm still a lot sad about the situation. I've gotten a lot of good advice so I'll attempt to talk to him this week after all this school stuff is out of the way for us. Not quite sure what I will say or what will happen...but I'll try something.
Something's wrong with Loki. She's went around with her one eye shut today. I don't know if Narcissus scratched her or if there's something wrong. I'm not sure what to do about it so hopefully there's just something in her eye or something...
My poor baby kitty!
Mmm...Daniel Radcliffe.
I'm planning on changing my layout after school stuff is taken care of. I'm thinking something Harry Potterish. I got some good pictures for potential banners. I just can't think of a theme for it yet...
Posted by Nikalyn at 04:43 PM | Comments (2)
June 03, 2004
Does she ever get the boy?
On the drive home from class today I cried. Cried for him. Cried cause today was our last day together in class. We thought we were taking mythology together but he's taking it in the summer and I in the fall. In the fall he'll be going to Columbus to attend OSU. So...essentially, today could be the last day I'll ever see him. I know that you are all saying I'm full of shit and that I need to keep talking to him and get him to hang with me. Well, I've tried. I'll continue to try. But honestly, I can only do so much here. He has to make his move here. He has to want to hang with me as well.
You know, the thought never hit me that it was our last day until today. I turned to him and said "Hey, this is our last class together." Then we went into the convo about us having different mythology classes. He said I needed to change my schedule and take the class with him. Well, honestly I would if I had money to pay for it. I never signed up for financial aid in the summer since I didn't figure I'd ever take summer classes. :-/ I suppose that backfired a tad.
I'm honestly so sad. I don't know what will happen. Everytime I like a person I watch as they walk out of my life as quickly as they appeared. I said I didn't want that to happen with him. I suppose he won't vanish altogether since I talk to him online...but the idea of really not seeing him again quite frankly makes my heart hurt...
I'm so pathetic. I just don't want to lose him you know? I mean, if nothing ever comes out of all this stuff in my head...I still want him to be a friend.
I just really hope we can actually get together and do stuff this summer before he goes to Columbus.
Knowing my record...it won't happen though.
Fuck it.
Whatever happens, happens. I tried. I'm trying. I really have a small amount left.
I just told him I was sad that we weren't having class together anymore and all he said was that we'd see each other online a lot.
*sighs*
Right. Online. This impersonal world that has treated me real kindly up until now.
I think I was a bit silly to think he could like me. That it could work out.
I'm doomed to be alone I think.
Alone. Depressed. Ruined.
This Ruined Puzzle - Dashboard Confessional
This ruined puzzle is beige with the pieces all face down
so the placing goes slowly.
The pictures of anything other than it's meant to be
But the hours they creep
the patterns repeat
Don't be concerned you know I'll be fine on my own
I never said don't go
But I've hidden a note
it’s pressed between pages
that you've marked to find your way back
It says Does she ever get the boy?
But what if the pages stay pressed
the chapters unfinished
the stories too dull to unfold
Does she ever get the boy?
This basement's a coffin
I'm buried alive
I'll die in here just to be safe
I'll die in here just to be safe
'Cause you're gone
I get nothing
and you're off with barely a sigh
I never said Good-bye
But I’ve hidden a note
it’s pressed between pages
that you've marked to find your way back
It says Does she ever get the boy?
But I’ve hidden a note
it’s pressed between pages
that you’ll read if you're so inclined
does she ever get the boy?
But the hours they creep
the patterns repeat
don’t be concerned, you know I'll be fine on my own.
I never said don't go
Does she ever get the boy?
Posted by Nikalyn at 07:38 PM | Comments (8)
June 01, 2004
*puppy eyes*
If anyone is ever feeling...generous...I really really really really want this cd. I've been searching for the songs online for months now to no avail. Hrm...used ones are only 5 bucks.
Why can't our stores just sell the damn thing?? It's difficult getting stuff from the interweb...:(
Val's fucking hot.
See? He's like "Hey, buy Nikalyn my cd or I'll shoot you!"
Right.
I took pictures at the park today but too lazy to upload them. Oh well.
Now to start working on the rest of the list. How does one write a paper on a book one hasn't read...? Let's find out!
Th3 list of all I have to do by next week
*Final Comp essay
*Final American Lit essay
*Final Comp quiz
*Final American Lit quiz
*Comp 3 journal
*American Lit journal
*Sociology reflection paper
*Comp 3 reflection letter
*American Lit reflection letter
*Correct Comp 3 essay
*Correct American Lit essay
*Sociology Exercise
*Math Take home test
Posted by Nikalyn at 08:46 PM | Comments (0)