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June 30, 2003
*taps foot*
Still no Ohio DC tour dates. Very annoyed. *taps foot some more* Someone told me that they should have a concert in Ohio because of the fact that DC had to cancel a concert in Cleveland last tour. They do have an excellent point. They need to hurry and add more tour dates on the site. I can't take this waiting.
I was watching tv the other day and I saw a Placebo video on tv. It scared me! I think tv should stop playing my favourite bands! Okay, I like seeing videos that I've never seen of my bands but still...I hate seeing my bands get popular! Stupid people fuck up my bands. They make them tainted and then they get overplayed. But it did make me realize that they had a new cd out...new since May...but I never hear when album's come out. So I stole...errr downloaded the album off WinMx Friday...or was that Thursday? One of those days. But it sounds mighty nice. :D I love his voice.
Lynz was over here for the last 3 or 4 days. She's been playing FF X while I watch. I like watching games almost as much as I like playing them. Sometimes its a relief to watch them. It's like a movie. :) She's having trouble with a certain part though. So hopefully we figure out some way to survive.
I'm contemplating playing FF8 again in order to pass the time before the new Dot Hack. I'm at the last boss but I don't want to beat it before the new one comes out. So I'm stuck without a game for a month or so. I miss my Squall man. I never did fully see the end of it since a certain english boy left before he could beat it so...I might have to do it. Yay Squall!
I got my transcript for my whole existance in high school the other day. I will share with you a little of what it says. 9th grade: GPA- 3.92 Class rank- 11
10th grade: GPA-3.71 Rank-13 11th grade: GPA-3.59 Rank-17th and 12th grade: GPA-3.63 Rank- 10th. Yay for me! Makes me sound smart. Now how come I have no skills in which to start any career out of...hrm...*ponders*
I'm sad that Lynz left. It just took me 15 minutes to find that transcript. She cleaned my rooms today when I was in the shower without any obligation to. Isn't she nice?! :D It needed it too.
I finally got Harry Potter. It's good so far. Very shocking! Okay, just to me probably. But it's good so far. I find it hard to remember what happened in the 4th book. It's been awhile since I read that thing. But I'm doing well. :D Just need a refresher every once in awhile. Thumbs up!
Just as an ender(Heheheh Ender...), I finally showed Lynz my hot dude on Saturday. We spent the day at my mom's work...not the most fun way to spend a Saturday morning but since we were still up when she went to work...we saw no harm in it. 5 hours of sleep in 48 hours. My that was fun. I was almost up there with the big boys! But anyways, Jon is hot. I adore that boy. He has the best smile in the world. Lynz even got to hear the famous Funkytown cell phone ring. I swear to god, if I get a cell my ringer is gonna be Funkytown. Everytime it rings, hilarity ensues!
Okay, this is long. Back to England! (Errr...Harry Potter reading that is)
Posted by Nikalyn at 02:02 AM | Comments (3)
June 26, 2003
You Told Me Everything
Hrm. I really have nothing important in my head right now in which to fill up an entry. So I'm probably just going to ramble. Although, I just want to say that my summer sleeping schedule is now back in swing. Nowadays I'm heading to bed at a good ol 5:30 in the morning. Whooo! Okay, I'm not completely happy with this. I actually would like to go to bed earlier. There's NO one online this late. I'm freaking lonely. Plus there's nothing to do and nothing good on. Okay, there are things to do. Millions of them! But I'm in this sleep limbo. I'm sleepy. Sleepy enough to not be able to do tasks but not sleepy enough to sleep. I'm not completely sure what's up with that.
Okay, I have: Good news and Bad news.
Good news. Dashboard has a cool new flash intro on their official site promoting their new album which will be out on august 12th. YAY! (Excited about the flash intro not the date...I knew the date) Some concert dates for the full length tour are now released. Their opening acts include: MxPx and Brand New which will also have guest appearances at some stops by Rooney or Vendetta Red. Bad news...Ohio is no where on that list of concerts. Good news...they will release more dates sometime soon. Bad news...no one wants to come to Ohio!
I think I may weep. No full length Dashboard concert in Ohio? *sobs*
LoL. Another odd thing. I was flipping around the DC boards and it looks like for some reason crazy emo guy has vanished. He doesn't post at the boards anymore and he deleted his account name. I bet it's because he was found out and is a fake! *evil laughter* Okay, I don't know that for a fact...but I still think he is.
Maybe it was that evil curse I put on him...? Ooops. *grins*
I'm naughty. *whips self*
Posted by Nikalyn at 02:19 AM | Comments (4)
June 23, 2003
Quarantined
Hiya. Look! I'm alive! Just barely I think. The last 3 or 4 days ( I can't really remember how many ) I've been really really really sick. What started with just a sore throat and a runny nose escalated. It was all mainly the sinus region really. My head actually hurt because it felt like there was so much pressure being applied. That was the worst actually. My head felt like it weighed a million tons. This morning I felt a lot better though. After taking lots and lots of various pills the weight from my head has lessened. I still don't feel like 110 percent but I'm getting there. My runny nose has gone away except from a few sniffs here and there. My sore throat is gone. The hot and cold flashes are still there but...I think that's just how I am. I never can be content with the temperature even when everyone else is.
My mother decided a few days ago that because I was sick I didn't need to be sleeping in the basement. The basement is damp and the air is apparently bad for my lungs. She figured this and the temperature change from the rest of the house to my basement is what got me sick so I didn't need to be in it while I was trying to get better. So...I was pretty much quarantined to my mother's room. Well the first day I had to sleep on the couch because my mom's boyfriend was there...which meant I only got 3 hours of sleep that night. :-/ The last two days were spent in my mom's room all day. I don't like her bed. Tis a waterbed and is waaaay too hot for me. Plus it hurts my back.
But that's where I've been the past few days. That's why I didn't receive my phone calls. Sorry again. :( Feeling a lot better now though. Thanks for your nice words. :)
Harry Potter book came out Saturday. I want it. I haven't been anywhere to buy it. Plus I'm hesitant to use my money to buy it since I'm gonna have to use it for college and gas for my invisible car. Kinda waiting until I go somewhere with a parent figure and con them into buying it for me. But I want it. I want! I need to know who dies damn it.
Random Foofy Moment: Me = Ender Foofy =Warm-Foofy
Ender: Who sang funkytown? My winamp says untitled. The Lipps Inc people?
Warm-Foofy: I have no idea.
Warm-Foofy: I've only heard one Nsync song my entire life(seriously)
Ender: lmao What does that have to do with funkytown??
Warm Foofy: I'm not sure.
Warm Foofy: Maybe it was because i was thinking about cherry soda?
Ender: lmao What does nsync have to do with cherry soda???
Warm Foofy: I once had dream involving justin timberlake and cherry soda
Ender: Hahahahahaha
I saw my cute boy again today. I heart him. I wish he'd like me. But that's what I've been doing for years isn't it? Wishing that people I like would like me. I've learned that doesn't work. Wishing gets you no where. I just wish things would go right for once. It's about time isn't it? I mean, 18 years is a long time to be so out of the loop. I want a boyfriend. A real one this time. One who doesn't lie and who actually feels the same about me. Pssh. Yeah, right.
Have you ever looked at yourself and compared you to other people your age? I do. One thing I've noticed is I never seem to grow up. I never look more mature. I never feel any older...no I take that back, I feel older but that's all mentally. I never look older appearance wise. I think I need to make myself over. Not sure how to do that though.
For the first time in a long while I'm wearing the sexay top to my black silk pjs. Usually I just wear the bottoms. Are we excited? Wanna see it? ;) We'll see...it was a lame attempt for me to feel a little sexy.
Okay well gonna go work on a few things now. Just thought I'd catch everyone up. Hopefully I'll be on more now. Later. I love ya.
Update: I have decided to take some pictures since I haven't in awhile. I'm just including a few of my favourites. I'll add them to the picture page sometime soon but if anyone wants more ask me. :D Oh yeah, make sure to look at that one *points to webcam*
Click down to see pics.
Posted by Nikalyn at 12:16 AM | Comments (3)
June 19, 2003
Entirely Too Much Info
I was on the phone talking to Brad and I had a coughing fit and coughed up some nasty yellowish brown stuff. Then when I realized all that nasty stuff was in my mouth I almost threw up. It's fun to talk to me on the phone when I'm sick. I was two seconds away from totally throwing up on the phone. :(
I think my nose is exploding. Things just leak out of it. I'll be just sitting there and it starts raining down. Sleep last night was not fun. I kept tossing and turning and had to blow my nose every few seconds. Plus I keep getting hot and cold...hot and cold. MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND.
I hate when you try to sniff back the contents of your nose and then it goes into your throat. WHY ARE THEY CONNECTED DAMN IT!!!? It's just not right...
Everytime I cough I threaten to throw up. Actually I wish I actually would. Might make me feel better. And I've never sneezed so much in my life.
I thought about making soup but the walk seems oh so long. I have no energy whatsoever. I really really really want some Sprite too. I haven't drank nor ate anything for awhile. That can't be good for my condition either.
*whimpers* I'm such a big baby when I'm sick.
I wish someone would take care of me...
Posted by Nikalyn at 04:11 PM | Comments (4)
June 18, 2003
*sobs*
I'm sick. It came on so fast too. I was fine until last night. My throat started hurting and pretty much escalated to not being able to swallow. Then I went to bed and that just made it worse. My whole sinus cavity is killing me. I didn't sleep well because every breathing passage was clogging up and I couldn't breathe. My nose is all runny and I have the hugest headache. And to top that off I have cramps! *sniffs* I had to clean the kitchen before my mom came home and I was afraid that I'd pass out.
Oh lordy! Just kill me! Please? *coughs up blood* Lovely!
Posted by Nikalyn at 06:49 PM | Comments (2)
June 16, 2003
It's been a long time
Since I posted a random conversation
Today's conversation features me as "Nik is Giddy" and Lynz as "Dissention" from our MSN fun. Let the random conversation commence:
Nik Is Giddy says:
Shhhhhhhhhhhhh
Nik Is Giddy says:
dont tell anyone
Dissention says:
*cowers, pulls blanket over*
Dissention says:
That you can see dead people?
Nik Is Giddy says:
no.
Nik Is Giddy says:
that I'm naked and wet
Dissention says:
*posts everywhere she is so everyone knows you're naked and wet and I'm getting out my strap on*
Nik Is Giddy says:
*gasps*
Nik Is Giddy says:
you dirty whore
Dissention says:
You're the dirty whore, wet and naked!
Dissention says:
FUCK YOU SLUTBAG!
Dissention says:
*fucks you*
Nik Is Giddy says:
SCREW YOU BANANA COW
Dissention says:
SCREW YOU LAME ASS TURKEY!!!!!!
Dissention says:
Don't worry!
Dissention says:
They're not gonna get us
Dissention says:
they're not gonna get us
Nik Is Giddy says:
They're not gonna get us
Dissention says:
not gonna get us!
Nik Is Giddy says:
not now I love you
Feel the love?
Second place:
Dissention says:
*fwaps you*
Dissention says:
*fwaps you harder*
Nik Is Giddy says:
Yes?
Nik Is Giddy says:
stop fwapping
Dissention says:
pick someone to screw.
Nik Is Giddy says:
*drinks a fwappacino*
I'm pretty god damn lame.
Posted by Nikalyn at 03:43 PM | Comments (3)
June 15, 2003
Sunblind
Hiya. *waves* Yeah I'm not dead although I haven't been around the last two days. I've been hanging out with my mommy alot. Sad? Maybe. But its the only time I get to leave. We hung out with her friend DeeDee all today. She is inconsiderate sometimes but is funny. We were hanging around the house when my mom's work called and said that one of the ovens was broke over at Subway(where DeeDee works) so they had to go fix it. I decided to go with them, got half way to the car and realized where were we going...my mom's work...Jon works with my mom...Jon is fucking hot. So I ran and got some makeup and tried to make myself presentable. Not really a reason...its not like hot guys who I like ever look at me...but it made me feel better. And I've liked the guy ever since I first saw him...
So I discreetly stared at Jon all day. *dreamy sigh* He's really nice. And funny! And...and...get this!!! He has FUNKYTOWN as his cellphone ring!!!!!!!!!! ITS A SIGN DAMN IT! LoL
His phone rang today and I said "hey! That's it! That's the melody to funkytown!" I laughed at myself. Not too loud though because I didn't want to seem nuts.
But I am...*laughs more*
I bought my dad this kick ass lawn g-nome for fathers day. We left it on his porch since he worked all day with a "happy father's day love nikki" inside the wrapper. But...he never called to say thank you or to even knowledge he got it.
He's such a fucking prick.
We were just gonna give him a card. But all the cards said what a good dad he was and how happy I was that he was my dad and blah blah blahity dah. So...we didn't want to lie.
I can't believe he didn't call...okay yeah I do. *cries* I despise my dad.
Okay, think happy thoughts. *goes to listen to Funkytown*
Won't you take me to...Funkytown...Funkytown! *moonwalks*
Later. Still love you. :D
Posted by Nikalyn at 11:51 PM | Comments (2)
June 14, 2003
I love you!
I love you!
Posted by Nikalyn at 03:19 AM | Comments (6)
June 13, 2003
*beats her dial up connection
*beats her dial up connection with a wiffle ball bat*
Yes, that one.
Don't look so smug external modem. Your time is coming...oh yes, your time is coming!!
How bout a little fire scarecrow???
Posted by Nikalyn at 01:18 AM | Comments (4)
June 12, 2003
The Truth
Okay, I feel emotional tonight. This means you will get a whole lot of crap from me in this entry. You were warned.
This is the truth as I see it. This is how I've been feeling.
I don't fit in anymore. I don't. Not at all. Now you can sit here and argue with me until you're blue in the face but I won't believe you. I don't belong anymore...
Ever since I've had a computer I've always fit in somewhere within the wires. During the first year or so of the computer I was an ICQ hound. Now I've learned better of course but then that's where I'd be. I had a lot of friends and folks to talk to because...seriously, getting people to talk to you on ICQ is about as easy as shooting fish in a barrel. Then I moved on to the WB chat rooms. I had fricking millions of friends in there. I ruled. I was a few of the elite people and it kicked ass. I met two of my first internet boyfriends there, Gerry and then Wes. I went out with Gerry forever. He was Spike. I was Harmony. If you know about Buffy then you know we were a pair in the beginning. But I'm not here talking about my relationships. I'm talking about the chat in particular. I had friends. Okay, they weren't tangible but they were sufficient. I had a place where I meant something to someone.
That fell apart though...like everything else. The chat went through a bunch of moves and changes and then when the smoke cleared no one really even knew where the damn thing was anymore. I kept in contact with a few of them on AIM but then I screwed stuff up and lost my boyfriend and my friends. Of course, that's me. Screwing shit up.
After the wb incident I spent most my time as an AOL junky. I had a few friends on aim who I hung with. Then came Brad and his chat room. That was short lived. Then later came the TechTv chat room. I ruled along with two other guys. Wyvern = Ian and Lord. We were Call for Help junkies. Yes, yes we were. These were the days when I was OBSESSED with Chris Pirillo. Every day at five we'd meet up and chat in the chatroom for hours. Once again I belonged somewhere and I had people who actually liked me. Well...the chat came down and then went back up again...and got crappy. Wyvern and I had our parting in which he pretty much said he wanted nothing to do with me again...understandable. Lord and I talk about once every six months.
Then came Lockergnome. It was fun in the beginning. Back when the ops weren't nazi's and people weren't plotting my downfall. It was fun. I had friends. And everyday I'd connect and there they'd be, excited to see me. I would spend hours and hours and hours just chatting with people, wasting away behind a screen of words...but I wouldn't of had it any other way. It was just plain fun. Then I met a guy...and of course that made it ten million times better. I felt I belonged somewhere...I thought I meant something. I was happy. I was in love.
Last summer was the happiest of my life. Yes, I'm not going to lie. It was because of him. And even though he never felt like I did...it was fun. I never smiled more than that summer. A community where I had friends and a boy who loved me for me. It was the best summer of my life.
Things went wrong. Everything goes wrong in my life. Not saying everything has to stay the same...but I wonder why things just can't stay happy with me for an extended period of time. First my love left me, then one of my best friends vanished, then the chat became nazi like, then everything happened that I've tried my best to block out.
A place I once was so happy visiting is now my hell. I hate Lockergnome. No offense to those who still visit it but to me it's a ring of hell. I tried staying a million times. Believe me, I tried! But it cannot happen. I cannot go to that place again. Especially now. I'm not bothered by the relationship but there is NO way I could watch it everyday. There is no way. I couldn't watch them together...I can't do it.
Do I miss the chat? The answer isn't simple. I do in some ways and others I don't. But one thing's for sure...I won't go back.
This leads me to the point of this entry...yes it's taken me this long to say it. I don't fit in anymore. I honestly don't know why I come online anymore. I don't have friends anymore. I've always had some place where I fit in and now I have nothing. Everyone I tell this to tells me to go back to LG but I refuse. Another one of the chats? No. I can't go there either. No where on the Wyld server. I have no identity anymore. I was pretty much known as a certain person's girlfriend and nothing more. And since that was taken away...what am I? Nothing.
I left chat because of that reason...and well because of him. I really didn't think it would be a big deal at first. I thought that my "friends" that I had made in chat would still talk to me. Guess what? They don't. No one does! No one talks to me anymore except Lynz. That's another reason why I hate the internet world because everyone seems so damn fake to me. They say they care, they say they're you're friend but they never communicate to you.
Because I don't go to chat anymore I have lost everything. I have lost all my friends. I have nothing really. I would give anything to have it back again. I miss chatting to people. I miss hearing mindless chatter. I miss feeling like I belong. Every day Lynz tells me about her friends...Gavin, Kurt, Aldo, Blacksheep, Foofy, the image guy, etc etc and I usually get hurt. Hurt because she has people still. She has friends. She has an identity. She doesn't rely on me anymore...she has other people...wherein I rely only on her. When she wanted to leave chat forever people begged her to come back...when I left no one even noticed until I told them I wasn't coming back.
I have nothing anymore. No boy. No chat. No group of friends. No where I belong. Nothing!
Ugh. I don't want this to sound like a pity thing. A hey everyone hates nik thing. This is just my feelings. This is how things are. This is what I go through in my head everyday. This is why most days I don't come online. I mean, what's the point. *sighs*
I'm nothing...
*blinks* I had more to say but this is already really long. I'll just let you guys go now.
Posted by Nikalyn at 12:39 AM | Comments (8)
June 11, 2003
Before I forget
I said I would do the following for Noggie:
Hey boys and girls! My friend Noggie has this cool, new, informative site for you to rest your eyes upon! It's called Dogreader and it's quickly sweeping the nation! It features all that you could ever want to know on, yes you guessed it, dogs! Please mosey your way over there and take a peek at all she has to offer. If you do it and are a good lil human I'll give you a treat. Do you wanna a treat? Do you? Sit! Beg! Roll over! Go to Dog Reader!!
Good human!!
The site once again is Dog Reader.com
Thank you for your time. ;)
Posted by Nikalyn at 05:27 PM | Comments (1)
June 10, 2003
Addicted to razors. Lashes to
Addicted to razors. Lashes to saviors. Glued to the monitor. Trained behavior. Reduced to a number. Mechanic enslavement. A virtual prison. Selected detainment.
A gradual nightmare. Suicidal impulse. A cycle of habit. Undeniable loss. Breathing by wire. A network of heroes. Processing data as ones and zeros.
Carry me through the wires. Bury me in the screen. Shift me into this fixation. Cling to the machine.
This is now your world, and you barely made it. Did you think that it would cradle you until you were asleep forever? Did you?
Carry me through the wires. Bury me in the screen. Shift me into this fixation. Cling to the machine.
This is now your world, and you barely made it. Did you think that it would cradle you until you were asleep forever? Did you?
Posted by Nikalyn at 10:51 PM | Comments (2)
Other August kickassidties
*giggles* What kind of word is that? I make up funny words. LoL
*Lynz's birthday :D
*Lynz moving in with me :D
and...
and...
wait for it...
can you take anymore august excitment?
and...
DC FULL LENGTH TOUR!!!!!!! NO DAMN BECK JUST CHRIS IN ALL HIS GLORY. LIFE IS GOOD.
*does happy dance*
Posted by Nikalyn at 01:02 PM | Comments (3)
WhooooooooooooWeeeeeee!
It's official!! New Dashboard cd on August 12th! Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ah don't you love annoying extra exclamation marks? *grins*
A new Dot Hack(the 1st) and a new DC cd(12th) and a new BT cd in August(19th)...plus the beach!!! Can August get any better?!
I love my life. *beams*
Posted by Nikalyn at 12:28 AM | Comments (3)
June 07, 2003
Ouch.
I just went through my whole blog list and left a comment on almost everyone's blogs. I went through the whole list and commented while listening to DC. I rock! Aren't you glad you have a good commenter like me as a friend? I better get some damn comments here in the next few days from you all. Yes, you! If you need help on what to comment on *points to earlier entries* Or just blab on about nothing...that's what I do half the time.
*snuggles with her kitty* Loki is so soft and cuddly.
I'm so damn lazy in the summer.
Look! It's my name in Japanese!!
Go Ms. Japan!!!
Okay, I lost it.
Please check your bags at the gate.
Thank you, please drive through.
*sneezes*
OUCH!!! CRAMP IN FOOT!! CRAMP IN FOOT!!!!
Posted by Nikalyn at 11:58 PM | Comments (6)
June 06, 2003
the best day I can ever remember
Sorry I didn't write about this sooner but I was caught up with other pressing matters. *coughs* Dot Sign *coughs* Okay, not the most important of matters but I sat myself down and completed the series. Go me! I love everything that is Dot Hack related. I love how everything is so damn complex but if you know what the hell they're talking about then it's so cool. I can't imagine watching the series without having background info. People out there have to be so confused! Especially with the whole Harold, Aura, Morgana, Skeith thing. But since I know my crap I found it majorly entertaining. I love how they connect everything together, the show, the video game, the book, everything! I bet millions of people out there watch just the show, or play just the game and are oblivious to most of the key elements going on around them. They are just like "Oh, this is a cool show. Tsukasa is number 1!" "Hey look I beat Dot Hack, Black Rose is hot!" *rolls her eyes* There's so many levels to this that even I probably don't know how deep it goes. But yeah, the series left me in tears...I'm a sucker for happy endings. And the whole Maho, Tsukasa, Mia, Elk, thing...I still can't get over how cute it is...oh lord...
I think I'll shut up now. No one knows what I'm talking about but...it's okay. At least I'm excited about it. LoL.
Anyway, concert, yes. I will talk about that.
Wednesday, like the title says was the best day that I can ever remember. I said that once before but once I realized the amount of deceit that was behind that day well, it fell back a few notches.
The concert experience started out bad because I had planned leaving about 3 or so in order to get to the venue early. The concert was a general admission thing so if you wanted good seats you had to show up early. Because my parents want to ruin everything good in my life and because mom had to work until 3 and is slow as Moses we didn't leave until after 4. I was paranoid. The whole way up I sat thinking how all I wanted was to be near Chris and I knew it probably wouldn't happen. We finally pulled into Columbus at 6 after loads of construction, getting lost, and stupid stupid stupid drivers. The concert started at 7 so I only had less than a hour to claim my position. Luckily, it went alright and I claimed a perfect position about 4 rows (if you can call them that) away from the stage. A perfect view of the microphone right in front of me. I was content. :)
The first act, The Black Keys, were alright I guess. I don't really remember anything significant about them. I was just in this stupor awaiting DC. They were loud and they made music. Yay for them! Then the moment I had been waiting over a year for, Chris Carrabba standing there in all his glory. Now, I don't want to get too teeny bopperish here with my description but I absolutely adore that man. You can't even imagine how fucking gorgeous he is in person. Everything about him is perfect. Okay, probably not. But to me? Perfect. He sang. I sang. He smiled. I beamed. He lost himself in the music. I lost myself completely. It was an almost religious experience I think. Orgasmic to say the least. I screamed and sang until my throat hurt. I cheered so loud that I actually almost threw up from screaming so much. Every song was better than the previous one and I was the happiest than I had EVER been. His last song was of course, the one written about the best day he ever had. How appropriate that I was having the best day I've ever had. It was amazing. And I worship him even more now.
I was a little annoyed after that because I never found the damn emo guy in order to get my guitar pick. He now claims he won't mail it to me because he is afraid he will lose it. Bull shit I say. BULL SHIT. It probably never existed. But it's okay because once again it proved: TRUST NO ONE. Thank you X-Files.
But all in all it was an excellent night. Like I said, the best day I've ever had. I bought (had Lynz buy) me two DC shirts and one of their albums with my graduation money while I guarded my seat. I'm majorly happy with them. I love my shirts. *hugs them* I actually haven't taken this one off. Sssshhhh. Don't tell! I swear I don't smell!
Oh yeah, Beck was okay too. He's a funny white guy who tries to dance and be cool. :) So we danced scarily along with him. Doing the robot = lots of fun. Yes we looked stupid but when have we worried about that in the past? Plus, most people were stoned...heheh come on, it was Beck for God sakes, you know most of those guys were. I'm glad I'm such a good girl. :)
Okay, I'm gonna go because this is a long ass entry which no one will probably read. But it's okay. I just wanted to share the best day of my life with everyone. And if you excuse me, I need to go fill out some thank you cards. Later :)
"My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me
So won't you kill me, so I die happy
My heart is yours to fill or burst
to break or bury, or wear as jewelery
Which ever you prefer"
Okay, I'm ready now. You can kill me now. I'll die absolutely happy.
Posted by Nikalyn at 10:15 PM | Comments (3)
June 05, 2003
Before I do anything else...
For Noggie:
Before my bedtime torment:
After my bedtime torment:
Together in their torment:
Notice the differences?
Entry regarding my kick ass almost religious concert experience will take place sometime later today. Watch for it. :)
Posted by Nikalyn at 12:33 PM | Comments (11)
June 02, 2003
*confused puppy look*
Emo guy messaged me again today. He informed me (Like I didn't know) that only two more days until our concert. I was all blunt towards him because I was still pissy at him. He asked me if I remembered who he was and I was like "Why wouldn't I?" I informed him I was just confused why he was talking to me when he had blantantly ignored me before. He said he didn't know he was and was out of town for a few weeks. He said he was sorry and then started talking about the New York concert that he just went to. I don't know. I guess I will try to talk to him some more. You have no idea how much I want to meet Chris. Any way that will get me to him I might just have to try. We'll be nice to emo kid again. See if he still wants to introduce me to my man...
Emo Kid: ok i have a suprise for you then
Me: what?
Emo Kid: at the nyc show i had chris sign a whole bunch of stuff each night
Me: seriously?
Me: and you actually remembered me?
Emo Kid: well i wasnt sure about your name...but i prayed i was and i am right its nikki. well i had him sign one of the guitar picks i got from him with your name to it
Me: eep!
Me: :D
Me: thanks!
Emo Kid: soo yeh u can have it. i dunno if you ahve ever seen on ebay the FAKE dashboard guitar picks
Me: nope dont think so
Emo Kid: but the ONLY picks chris uses are red ernie ball M picks
Emo Kid: and u will haev an authentic one, yours being used during the song hands down(Editors Note: Nik's favorite song) at the knitting factory
Me: kick ass
Me: thank you
Emo Kid: i wont tell ya what it says
Me: you rock
Emo Kid: but it willb e a suprise
Emo Kid: and if you ever meet chris
Emo Kid: u can thank him too
Me: well I'll crowd in the line with you at the concert
Me: and I will get it
Emo Kid: cause i told him to just surpise her and say what he wanted on it
Emo Kid: its cute what he wrote too
Eeep!
Posted by Nikalyn at 11:29 AM | Comments (6)
June 01, 2003
Whew
It's been a long week to say the least. Monday was the only real day that I got to do nothing. I'm a big fan of doing nothing. The rest of the week was way too much activity for me. LoL. Wednesday was the senior showcase as I've already wrote a long, depressing entry on. Thursday was the awards ceremony in which I recieved my scholarship from Washington State and the one from Dick Thomas. I also got second place in the creative writing contest along with the ever talented Jerry. I was proud of that one. :) Makes me think that I'm doing something right. Friday was the graduation ceremony itself. Let's just say my ending of high school would not have been complete without me being a complete dork. Walking up the steps to get my diploma I tripped but luckily no one in my family saw it. ;) Then when I went to turn my tassel to the left side the whole damn thing fell off!! I had to have the girl next to me put it back on for me and turn it to the left side! I'm such a dork...
Friday night I went to the up all night party. I originally said I wasn't going to go the whole time but I ended up doing just that. I didn't do much. No swimming or B-Ball for me. I just mainly sat around and chatted with people I probably wouldn't see again. It in a way was sad I guess. Not really sad because I'd be leaving these people but because I wish in a way that I had gotten to know them more so I would feel sad. I know most of those people that I talked to won't ever call me up and ask me if I want to go do something or chat me up just for old times. It's sad because I wish that would happen sometimes. Sometimes I wish I could just change everything that I am.
I spent a lot of the night hanging around a certain guy just because I knew I'd never see him again. I wish it wasn't that way but I know it will be. In my head I play out all these scenarios that I wish would occur. Mini scenes that I might happen. I think its all a part of being a writer because ever since I could remember I'd make up these stories in my head and wish that one of these days reality would be as good as the soap opera in my mind. I did that all last night with him. Thinking "Hey maybe I could just go up and talk to him." It never happened of course. It's sad to know that nothing ever or will ever happen...
Maybe one day far off in the future things will be different and I'll meet him again. Eh, probably not knowing my life...but it's nice to think about. I'll miss him. I sat on the side of the pool at the party and kept looking at him from the corner of my eye. You know how good that boy looks to me? Not in some perverted way but in the way that if I could have the guy who is everything I wanted in a guy...he'd be it. So I sat there and cursed my life and pondered the urge to jump off that proverbial bridge that the preps were jumping off in the showcase.
It hurt to look at him cause I know that I could never be friends with him let alone have him like me back. *sighs*
If only...
But my life is never like that. I don't get the things that I'd give anything for. I don't get the guy, I don't get the sucess, I don't get the happiness. I get false things. They may look pretty on the outside but they aren't. I wish I'd catch a break sometimes...
I wish too much.
Wishing gets you nowhere and dreams are meant to crumble.
My, how did this entry get off track. Oh well. Back to the party. I hung out with Lynz, Katy, Gordon, and Sara for most of the night. They're a lot of fun. I used to think Gordon was a big asshole but I think you just have to get to know him. You get to like him after that. ;) I won a kick ass portable cd player which I needed but was one of those items that you need but never seem to go get. They also gave everyone 50 bucks. Not sure why...but hey I'm not complaining! We didn't go to the up all night party breakfast because I wanted to go home and sleep. So sleep I did and didn't wake up until my graduation party. I got lots of money...well not a lot considering the amount that a lot of other graduates recieved. But...what can you do? Oh by the way. My nice Beck tickets were in my graduation card from my parents. Yay! I also recieved a very cool charm bracelet from my brothers and their girlfriends and kids which is similar to that of Ms. Clegg's. It only has one charm on it now which is a little graduation hat. :) I hope to get more soon.
After the party we had to go to a scholarship banquet which was long, boring, and full of old people. I had to get up and talk in front of all of them which sucked a lot. First time in front of a mic too. Blah.
Glad that this week is done though. Sunday, as they say, is a day of rest and that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm not doing shit. :)
Hrm. This was a long entry. I'll shut up now. Later.
Posted by Nikalyn at 03:29 PM | Comments (1)