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May 30, 2003
I'm DONE!!
YAY!!!!!!! I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Nikalyn at 08:59 PM | Comments (6)
May 28, 2003
Ugh...
Today was not a good day. Not a good day in the least. I woke up too damn early in order to go to Senior Showcase. Senior showcase was cool. Lyndsey did well and was totally funny. I was proud of her. All the skits were cool really. I loved Jerry and Lewis performing. They did a really good job. Everyone did a good job really.
After the senior showcase was the senior slideshow. We were supposed to turn in our senior pics and baby pics and three pics with friends in to someone so that we could have them put in it. I turned mine in on time and was looking forward to seeing the cute pics in the show. I sat and watched, clapping and cheering and awing over everyone's cute pictures. But...my pictures never showed up. Apparently they got lost or forgotten and the people doing it never even cared to check...and never noticed they were missing. I watched the show in tears because there was not ONE picture of me in my senior slideshow. Not ONE. I know I'm not in a lot of stuff but I really looked forward to that show. I really looked forward to being a part of it. It was my senior slide show. Growing up in our high school you look forward to it! Well...at least I did. And not one picture...not one...
I knew Justin would fuck it up. I mean, I had a feeling Justin would lose my pics but I never asked him about it. Because why should I have to? He should have taken responsibility!
I never figured anyone would put any pics of me in there but that's why I gave him pics of me to put in it. Just to lie to myself that I had friends and that I had fun in high school. And...they lost it. I was forgotten. I got lost... After the slide show I walked out of the room and cried. Bawled more like it. I sat outside my school and cried. I felt like nothing. Absolute nothing. Why did I go to school? I left no kind of imprint there. No one even noticed I was missing. No one even cared. I never noticed how much being in the damn slide show meant to me. But it did. It mattered and I cared.
I cried for about 20 minutes outside.
It was supposed to be a happy moment and I cried.
*sighs*
I know that it's just my depressing side and that everytime I say shit like this people tell me different but sometimes it seems like no one really even cares about me. I mean, no one will care when I'm gone. No one will even notice. I'm so easy to forget about. Ugh. I seriously feel like jumping off a damn bridge.
Then, to make matters worse, I ended up having a horrible migraine headache from crying so much. I took like 4 aspirin and it didn't help. I walked to my grandma's after practice and found out that my grandma was sick and needed to go to the hospital...so that's where I was from 12 to 3. I actually fell asleep in the waiting room chair because I was left there so long and I was so tired.
Ugh. It sucked.
Then we went to the mall to get my dress shoes. Now, I know we went there earlier this week and decided on a shoe. When I went there and looked for it. I had NO idea what shoe I liked or what one mom wanted me to buy. Hell, I didn't even remember looking at shoes. I drew a total blank. I didn't remember anything about the shoes. Not what they looked like, not what section they were in, nothing. I hate fucking shoes. I wish I could just walk around barefoot. *growls*
Then riding in the car, the wait in the waiting room, and all that good stuff lead to my headache getting worse. When I get a bad headache I get really sick. So yeah...I feel like absolute crap.
Plus I determined today that I hate every person in my school. Well except Lynz of course. I hope they all die. :-/
Today was just a horrible day.
I'm so damn depressed.
And SOOO out of it.
I know when mom gets home she will bitch at me for something...she always does. Not like I do anything...
Please, just someone kill me. Put me out of my misery.
Posted by Nikalyn at 05:50 PM | Comments (8)
May 27, 2003
Stumbling in the Dark
I thought when you faced your last day of school you wouldn't have to wake up at 7:00 anymore. I thought wrong! :-/
Still have to get up early damn it...
Today: 8:30 graduation practice. It lasted until 10. I walked to my grandma's and talked awhile. To sum it up: my grandma doesn't think I'm fat, however she thinks I'm lazy. Hrm...good thing? Not sure. She also thinks I have many health problems. Uh yeah...sure I do. Am I going to a doctor for them? Hell no. I rather would die. After all this fun stuff my aunt brought us here where Lynz got her stuff for senior showcase practice. We drove her to her house where she changed her clothes and got some food. Then my aunt drove me back here. Too much work damn it. I'm sleepy.
Tomorrow: Get up at 7 again to go see Senior Showcase. Sadly, I'm going to miss a movie I've wanted to see for months! Ugh. I hate having a life!
Thursday: I think I actually get to sleep in that day. Awards assembly is at 12 so...do I have practice that morning? can't remember...damn it.
Friday: Early morning practice again? Then graduation. Can't really remember these times. My head is jumbled. Then senior up all night party! Being up until 5am!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhh. Maybe I'll leave early. LoL.
Saturday: My party for graduation. Not that I have friends. Or family that likes me. But my immediate family and Lynz (who is like family) will be there and that's all that matters. :)
Okay, sleepy time. I'm so tired. Hopefully I can take a nap and then go clean up the house a little.
Bah. Who am I kidding? I can't take naps! Ugh.
Posted by Nikalyn at 01:59 PM | Comments (2)
May 25, 2003
Nikalyn Doesn't Live Here Anymore
Note: Nikalyn has had her mind, body, and soul consumed by Dot Hack. She doesn't have a life anymore nor wants one. If you do not see her online for a few days you know that the game has sucked her into it's world. If Nikalyn by chance beats the game she will move on to watching the remaining episodes of the tv show. Nikalyn can be reached by phone if need be. If you do not know Nikalyn's number then you are a sad, sad individual who doesn't need to be polluting Nikalyn's mind anyway. (J/k) Do not take Nikalyn's absence as a personal thing. Nikalyn doesn't like many people in the online world anymore and would rather hang around a little boy named Kite and another one named Elk. The game is too much for Nikalyn to resist...
The phone lines will be open all night if you would like to speak with her.
Sincerly,
The Management.
Lynz, Nikalyn loves you. She hopes you are having fun with that Baker girl.
Posted by Nikalyn at 06:31 PM | Comments (6)
May 23, 2003
School's Out For Eva!
NO MORE HIGH SCHOOL FOR ME!
Today was my last day of school! I am so very very very happy! Lyndsey passed all her required classes and now she will be able to graduate. Yay!!! The last two exams went alright however I just put in answers for my Physics one because I didn't care...hehehe.
But no more school...until next year. But next year will be a whole new kind of school. One with freedoms and less stupid people.
Life cannot get any better than this moment. Oh wait, it can. Dashboard concert!!! :D
Oh and Lynz's aunt is taking us to Olive Garden!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My life fucking rocks!
Posted by Nikalyn at 03:17 PM | Comments (4)
*Breathes in for luck*
*chuckles* I'm quirky cute.
Okay. I'm leaving for my meeting now. I look like crap but thats okay cause maybe they will give me more money if I look icky and poor. Hopefully it doesn't take very long because I need to come home and study for a few hours.
Wish me luck. :)
Posted by Nikalyn at 07:54 AM | Comments (1)
May 22, 2003
A life? Nah. I don't know what that is.
I was pissed last night because every person had shit about Ruben winning in their aim infos and how they KNEW all along that he was going to win. One I was pissed because I know for a fact that none of them even watched more than 3 episodes. I watched it from the beginning and picked Clay to win even when he was a geek.
So I put a comment in my info:
He's fucking overrated. If you actually like him then I fear for your taste in music. But it's alright because a title and nothing more. They both get contracts. Ha.
I get a message today when I was away from S. Fuller saying how I shouldn't take it so seriously. Ha. Sorry. I'm not cool enough to have a boyfriend like her and a life like her. AI is all I got. LoL. Oh well. People wouldn't lead me to be hostile if they would just drop shit.
Tomorrow is my last day of school. Today we had exams for the first 4 classes. I only had to take 2 of them however and I got an A on both of them. :D Tomorrow I don't have to go in until 11:45 ish but I have a meeting with the former mayor of our city talking about giving me money for college next year at 8:30. So I guess I'm getting up early anyway. Maybe dad will buy me breakfast.
Here I am. Last day of school tomorrow and I have an essay to write and two exams to study for. Am I doing anything? No. Ha! How do you like that??? Mwhahahahahahaha.
Okay. Maybe I will pull an all nighter. Let's go out with a bang...or with a quiet yawn and a pair of blood shot eyes. Your pick. I'd say the latter.
*salutes*
Posted by Nikalyn at 09:46 PM | Comments (5)
May 21, 2003
What a whore
I hate that man. He just won because he's fat! I swear to god. If people love fat people so much then why the hell don't I have a date?! Ruben CANNOT sing. No, I take that back. He can sing. But he sounds like every other fat black singer in America. I'm sorry if that offended anyone but it's true. He sounds like EVERY OTHER R&B singer! UGH!!!! He only sings ONE kind of song. Slow, Marvin Gaye kind of songs. Who the hell wants to hear that on the radio every day? Seriously, do you want to hear Ruben on the radio every day? Fuck that! I would rather listen to Avril.
I can't believe he won. Now I'm going to hear about it all FUCKING day. I hate it when I'm on the other side of shit like that. I will hear it ALL FUCKING DAY.
How could he win?? How could he win? Do people really want to hear that???
Blasphemy! Blasphemy I say!
Fuck that shit. You know what I say? They already said that both Clay and Ruben were putting cds out. (This is what I don't get about the damn competition cause it's not like anyone even loses really...they both get recording contracts...)
I don't care if Ruben is the winner. Clay is my American Idol and it will never change. Ms. Nikki has every Clay song on her winamp. As long as he puts out a cd I don't even care. LoL. Ruben can have the damn title of american idol. Like Simon said, the real fight will be the fight of record sales when they release both albums the same day.
So, I guess I'm not pissed. Just disappointed in America. Well...that's not new is it? GOD DAMN IT I WANT TO LEAVE THIS COUNTRY!! I'm moving to Ireland that's final.
Clay's putting out a cd. I will buy it. He will meet me and marry me. We will move to Ireland where he can be my Irish Idol.
Life will be grand.
*goes to listen to more Clay*
GO CLAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He might have lost the battle but he will win the war. ;)
Marry me? Please? I loved you when you were a geek damn it!! They all love you cause you look like a pop star!!!!
Ugh. I hate being under appreciated.
I'm gonna put up cool Clay fan buttons as soon as the damn site goes back up. Damn those fucking geocities pages!!
I loved him then. I bet no one else did. I want that guy back! Put on the damn glasses!!! LoL.
Posted by Nikalyn at 10:04 PM | Comments (4)
May 20, 2003
Happiness all around
I like making people happy. I like to think that I do it a lot. Today I made 3 whole people happy. :)
I have a way of making people happy through my words. One of the reasons I want to be a writer.
Last night I wrote Brad an email. Apparently it made him so happy that he smiled all day because of it.
I let Lynz read my essay that I wrote about her for AP Comp. She said she cried. She was very happy that I wrote it about her. I thought it was a bad essay cause I wrote it when I was half asleep. But she liked it. :)
Then I told someone that he was a hot boy and that made him happy. LoL.
Then the hot boy told me he wrote a song about me. Which in turn made me happy.
Oh lordy. Feel the love.
Love is all around no need to waste it. You can have the town why don't you take it? You're gonna make it after all. Dum dum dum.
LMAO. If you know where that is from I feel sorry for you. Cause that means you were watching Nick at Night when I was. Oh lordy we are sad...
If you don't know where that's from then guess what? You had a life! Yay for you!
Posted by Nikalyn at 07:52 PM | Comments (2)
Uh...Right...
I don't appreciate it when "friends" forget about me.
When she even talks to me she tells me that she will talk to me when she comes into town next. Does she? No. Can I even get ahold of her to ask her to do things when she is in town? No. I was never allowed to have her dad's number.
It hurts when people who are supposed to be your friend don't want to hang out with you anymore.
I can't believe she never told me she was coming down that weekend. I had even talked to her the night before.
Then she sends me an invitation to her graduation today like nothing even occured. I wrote her a letter telling her how I felt and that I saw her at the mall and she never even told me she'd be in town. It was very apparent that I was hurt...Did she send anything back explaining her actions that night? No. Ugh. Why would I come to her damn graduation now? She doesn't even like me.
Screw that shit.
I'm sick of people saying they are my friend just for my sake. Don't send me your pity. Don't need it.
Just go off with your brand new friends and have a hay day.
For now, I have a headache.
By the way...why the hell is Jewel acting like a big slut in her videos now?
Yeah yeah I get it. Girls can be sexual. Girls can like sex just like boys can. You are revolutionalized. That still doesn't mean that I want to see your ass crack. Keep your shit in your clothes.
Posted by Nikalyn at 03:20 PM | Comments (8)
This isn't healthy
Here I am. Writing the second essay of the night at 12:05 am. It's almost done really. I'm actually making good time on this one. *yawns* The first one took forever though...okay so I was doing a million other things while I was trying to write it...but that's beyond the point. It ended up being complete crap by the way. Its really discouraging having to half ass all my essays nowadays. *grrs*
I have been listening to Michelle Branch since about 7. Its on repeat. Not really because I want to listen to it that much. It's just easier. I don't have to think about it. I just listen to it straight through and hey I have background music.
Okay...let me finish this essay. I think it's pretty good for being wrote at 12. Hold on a sec.
.....
......
........
........
Okay...clicky for my essay. (If there's any apparent grammar mistakes shut up about them. I'm a writer. I will have an editor in the future. I don't like to be restricted by damn grammar shite. So ha!)
This is it. This is the moment that all teenagers dream about: graduation. It happened so fast that I never even saw it coming. I stand now in the halls that I’ve stood in so many times before. I have traveled this path that I have taken, more than once. So many times in fact, that I’m sure if I was blindfolded, I could safely maneuver myself to any classroom in the vicinity, without ramming into a wall. This was my home away from home for four years. I spent so much time here, loitering, cramming for tests, gossiping to friends, that it’s an odd feeling to know that today is the last time I will set foot in these bleak hallways. So many memories linger within these walls, memories of happiness, excitement, anxiety, and woe. Some of these memories will never leave me despite the fact that I am leaving them.
I casually wander down the corridor and take a look at all around me, trying my best to absorb every small detail. I pass the office; a place where I’m proud to say I never visited often. I stop briefly to look at all the pictures plastered against the pale walls. So many times had I saw these portraits but never really grasped the fact that these were more than mere smiling faces, they were the lives of people that I might not see again. A few steps more and I find myself in front of the guidance office. This is a place that conjures up so many memories for me. I can remember being a scared soon-to-be-freshmen coming here to schedule classes for the upcoming year. I had been so scared, so unaware of what the next day might bring. This room is also where I came in for advice about what to do in the future. The guidance office was not only a place of guidance but it was also a place of self-discovery. I learned so much about myself merely by going in there and scheduling classes, asking for college advice, and having my questions about the future answered. I learned what kind of person I was and received ideas about what I wanted do after these few years of High School were done. Through the years, this small room has watched me grow up. From that confused and frightened little girl to the still confused and frightened but yet now more certain woman that I am today.
A few more steps down the hall I am confronted by a large line of lockers to the right side of me. These are the senior lockers. They are assigned to only the seniors at the beginning of every school year. However, most seniors don’t make use of them. The seniors that are cool enough to own their own car usually just use the backseat as their own personal, portable locker. I was never one of those lucky seniors and since I didn’t have a car, I made great use out of my locker. As odd as it may seem my locker was one of the main places in this school that I will miss. It was the cause of so many memories, good and bad, to be formed. One of the best things about my locker was the fact that it was positioned right next to my best friend, Lyndsey. Once again, since I didn’t have a car, my locker was the place where I spent my lunchtime everyday. It wasn’t as sad as it sounded really. We would sit there and eat our lunch and talk about all the things that happened during the first part of the day. We would gossip. We would rant. We would watch the world go by. I looked forward to this part of my day because it kept me grounded. If I had a hectic day I could just sit there and calm down and without a doubt I would feel better by the time 11:57 am rolled around. This is one of the things that I will miss deeply about leaving this place. Sitting in front of my locker with my best friend it was almost as if I could stop the world in its place for 50 minutes and figure out my next move. I doubt that where I’m going moments like this will exist. I will be alone and for once I will have to deal with the world head on.
Sighing just a little, I continue my journey and pass the rooms of a few teachers. Teachers are a crazy bunch when you think of it. Some kids go through their entire High School experience hating every single teacher that they had only because they tried to get the student to actually do something. A lot of the students portray teachers as the enemy however I feel completely the opposite. Yes, I do feel that there are a few horrible teachers here at Belpre High but that is no reason to shun the good ones. This year I have become close to a choice few teachers. I actually feel like I know them a little as a person and not just the teacher. One of these teachers is Mrs. Finley and stopping in my tracks I see that I am right next to the door of her classroom. I look into it for a brief second and think about all the memories that have taken place behind that door. First semester of this year I had three classes in that room. Mrs. Finley once called me her adopted daughter because I was in there more than any other student. I look up to her a lot even though she probably doesn’t realize that. I enjoyed having all the classes with her as my teacher because I got to know her more as a person. Her way of teaching is much different from any other teacher in the school and it’s refreshing to me. She makes learning an interactive experience for her students and not a day went by where I didn’t learn something in her class. Mrs. Finley’s class will always be one of my most vivid memories of High School. Teachers like Mrs. Finley are not found everyday. Finding a teacher who is not only your teacher but is also your friend is a hard thing to do. I will keep memories in that classroom with me just in case I never meet another teacher like that again.
Here it is. The big moment that all teenagers dream about: that walk from the long school hallways to the stadium where I will complete one part of my life and graduate from High School. This moment indeed did come too fast for me. The future is unknown. I’m not sure what will become of me. Will I succeed? There’s no sure way to know other than to march on ahead and face whatever comes before me. High School dominated my life for several years and from it I made so many memories. I will never forget the times I shared in this building but it’s time to take the next step. No doubt I will make many new memories in whatever lifestyle I choose. Now is the time. No looking back. Congratulations, graduates of the class of 2003.
Posted by Nikalyn at 12:31 AM | Comments (2)
May 19, 2003
Really? Amazing!
The ghosts in my room like Daniel Bedingfield.
Don't ask me why. They just do. They make me listen to this song over and over and over. Not that I mind. It's a damn good song. :)
If you're not the one - Daniel Bedingfield
If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all
I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
Awwww...so cute. I want a guy that likes me that much!!
Pssssssh. Riiiiiight.
Posted by Nikalyn at 08:45 PM | Comments (2)
Silence is deadly.
Silence is deadly.
Posted by Nikalyn at 03:21 PM | Comments (2)
May 18, 2003
Points of Interest(Or Non Interest)
*My niece keeps going around the house singing Avril. I think I might kill her.
*I actually just saw a Nine Inch Nails video on MMUSA. Major Trent goodness.
*I had a dream. I'd like to just forget it. It's getting blurry as we speak.
*I cleaned the basement yesterday and even vaccumed. However it's semi messy again.
*My room is officially haunted. No matter what I do my Elijah poster keeps falling down. It's NOT just the tape or the wall. Someone is doing it damn it.
*A week left of school left but three essays left to write. :-/
*16 days to Chris goodness.
*Beck isn't that scary once you get past the white boy dancing and lyrics that mean nothing.
*I think I'm gonna turn the girl who ran the Elijah Fan contest in to the cops because I think she is trying to stiff me. It's been months and no prize whatsoever or no word on the reason why. I'm pissy.
*This is the first pic that I saw when I went to sing365 today. *blinks* Not sure why it's there...
*I have a huge urge to listen to Michelle Branch for some reason. But I know it will probably make me feel bad. I probably shouldn't.
*Dot Mutation is kick ass. My life is officially consumed by everything related to Dot...tis sad actually. Oh okay. No it's not.
*I think everyone died. Because almost no one comes here anymore.
*The world's nothing but a lie and everyone is going to die.
Lovely note to end on eh?
Thought so too.
Posted by Nikalyn at 05:39 PM | Comments (5)
May 16, 2003
YAYYAYAYAYAYAYA!
I beat .Hack! I beat .Hack! *dances* *dances more* *dances more* Not that anyone cares or even reads this. But oh well.
*twirls around the room*
I beat it! I beat it! I beat it!
And now to beat the parasite demon and the last goblin and away to the second game I go!
Yay!!!
Posted by Nikalyn at 05:36 PM | Comments (5)
May 15, 2003
*growls*
*growls*
Posted by Nikalyn at 12:10 AM | Comments (1)
May 14, 2003
The End of an Era
No more Dawson's. I grew up watching it. I've watched it from the beginning. I feel so sad. I loved the ending though.
However...Joey...Pacey...no no my friend that's not how it's supposed to go. I like Pacey but...*whimpers* Dawson!! I don't know if I can live in a world where Dawson doesn't get his Joey.
Oh well.
It was a very very very good 2 hours.
By the way, Clay and Ruben in the top two. Clay all the way! Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Not that anyone reads this. *glares*
Posted by Nikalyn at 10:03 PM | Comments (1)
ERRR...YEAH
Thanks...
:-/
Posted by Nikalyn at 10:41 AM | Comments (2)
May 12, 2003
The Search Ends?
For my semester project in AP comp I have to make an anthology. It must contain works of art that we think are displays of good writing. It has to have the following in it:
*A short story
*A novel excerpt
*A poem
*A work of our own
*A work of a peer
*A non-fiction work/essay
For the most part it was an easy journey. I took one of my poems for the work of my own. I found my favorite poem written by Slyvia Plath for the poem. I took one of Lynz's poems for the work of a peer. For the short story I found a lovely little thing written by the amazing James Joyce.
But the novel excerpt and the non-fiction work...now they were a different story.
My favorite novel? No doubt, Lord of the Rings. I'm the biggest LOTR junky in the world. But where would I find an online excerpt...and if I did could I find a good one? I looked and I've found a few...most of them aren't big enough or significant enough to write about. But finally I found one from the last book, the scene where Frodo gets rid of the ring. It will work well. :)
Now the issue of the non-fiction/essay. It's hard for me to find one. Especially one that falls under my odd tastes. Finally I've narrowed it down to two pieces.
The first is this. An essay that I oddly found on website talking about depression. I just love how this guy makes his essay descriptive and yet informative. He uses symbolism and imagery and it's very pleasing to me.
The second one is this short piece. Even though it's short I love the image that it brings to mind. It sounds something that I would write. It shows pure emotion. I like things like that. Because of it's shortness in size it leaves things to the imagination and allows you to wonder what happens next. It leaves you wanting more.
I can see myself writing about either one of these. Which one do you think I should use? Probably the first one eh? Just because it sounds more like an article? I don't know. I like them both.
Posted by Nikalyn at 07:51 PM | Comments (1)
May 11, 2003
The one thing I hate
The one thing I hate most in my life: people who lie to me.
I thought things would be different. That this time you could just be honest with me. You couldn't. For once I wanted to be treated like a normal person. A person of worth. A person in which you could just be honest with. I don't care what you do but when you make it a point to tell me something and then later go against it flat out...that's what pisses me off.
Am I the only fucking truthful person on this planet? I might not be perfect but at least I don't throw lies around like they're fucking confetti.
Don't worry I won't interfere anymore.
Screw it...screw it all...
Posted by Nikalyn at 06:49 PM | Comments (4)
May 09, 2003
The Luck of the Irish
My webcam! Isn't the pic cool?? I never knew how to use existing pics until last night. Hehehe.
I learned it all by myself. Very damn spiffy. I'm proud of myself.
And I thought the pic was kick ass. :D
Alright let me tell you a little what my day was like. Well, it actually starts last night. I was sitting outside while my mom was doing some gardening and I was picking at the grass and I found a four leaf clover! I always look for them but never find them. But last night I found one. :D And since then I've had really good luck! Odd and superstitious yes I know but let's look at the facts folks:
* had good pizza and a frosty for dinner...yes that sounds like a stupid everyday occurance but I never get good food. LoL
*I got to bed last night listening to good music.
*Slept well and woke up feeling good for once
*Didn't have to take the test that was scheduled 1st period
*Got an A on my math test...MATH TEST ( I never do that )
*Had a good 3rd and 4th period talking with crush. :)
*Got some cheesecake in 4th period and didn't do anything
*Had money for lunch
*Had the exact amount of money for a pop at lunch but when we put it in the machine the machine ate our money. After minutes of hitting the machine and Lynz running into it with no success of a pop...I looked around and found a quarter in the dirt...had enough money for a mountain dew. Yay!
*Had an overall good 6th and 7th pd.
*Mr. Hoffman wasn't here. :D Okay, his mother is sick...I feel bad...I do...but still he wasn't there which meant free day! :D
And the best one...
Lynz made kick ass Dashboard countdowns!!!! :D
See mine? Oh yes. It's lovely. LOVELY. I'm excited. *dances*
It's just been an overrall good day. Because of my 4 leaf clover? Hrm...I wonder...
Okay...I'm done now. Going to have a fun filled night playing Dot Hack and sleeping.
Posted by Nikalyn at 03:41 PM | Comments (4)
May 08, 2003
Man I rock!
I kick so much ass!
Whooooooooo! Go me!!!!!!!!!
*riverdances*
Posted by Nikalyn at 06:11 PM | Comments (3)
May 06, 2003
To See You Smile Again
He told me I needed to smile more. That's an easy thing to tell someone right? To smile more. Sure, I could do what I do when everyone else says that, give them a smile that has been labeled the "sarcastic grin." But I didn't want to do that. I value him a lot more than that. I wanted the smile to be real.
But what's the big deal with smiling anyway? I hate my smile. With a passion. It's dorky and always looks fake to me. I never do it a lot because I never have a reason...People don't even expect a smile from me because I hardly do it.
But I did it for him. Smiled in a picture. Looking straight at the camera. And for some reason he loved it. He said it made me look like a whole other person. He even said something like "cute!" And something along the lines of me glowing!
You know...for me to smile it actually doesn't take that much. Just the right words, the right time, the right moment.
He actually made me want to smile more just by saying all that stuff. Which is why I dedicate the huge pic of me smiling (yes, scary I know) to a certain English boy. No, not British, never British. ENGLISH boy.
Thank you for lighting up my day a little. I will try to smile more.
*points to below entry* Read that too.
Posted by Nikalyn at 09:44 PM | Comments (15)
Whistle While You Work
*whistles*
Talking to a person I haven't talked to in awhile. Nice actually.
Filling out graduation cards.
Anyone want one? I'll send it to your house and everything. With my cool labels and golden "E" stickers to seal them.
You don't have to send me money or come or anything. I just think it's fun to recieve mail. Plus I mean, you can have a cool graduation card from me.
Heh. Just thought I'd ask since I'm sitting here filling them out. I'm going crazy putting them together. Oh the mundaneness. *wonders to herself if that is a word*
*bangs head on desk*
The humanity!!!
Posted by Nikalyn at 04:06 PM | Comments (3)
May 05, 2003
You're a touch overrated
Everyone hates me...
Posted by Nikalyn at 05:59 PM | Comments (6)
May 04, 2003
Black Rose
I had to write a poem for my World Lit class. However, I am blank right now. The only emotions I have running through me are the following:
- Pain from my stomach hurting
- Adoration for my kitty
- Annoyance because there's not enough time in the day
- Confusion whether to play Dot Hack or go to bed
- A little ping of a crush from a certain photographer that will never love me but that I've been having dreams about the last 3 days...
Sure...I could write about one of those things. But...its much easier to take two of my old poems and make them into a new poem. Yay! Brilliant idea!
Hence...this was born. Gave it the old title. Merged the words. Viola.
A world of blue turns twisted and entangled in twilight
And a once flawless Earth becomes tainted.
She sits alone, without comfort or friendship, trying to escape the chaos.
It’s futile.
The dark clouds always seem to outrun her.
Once red with the blush of the innocent, she is now consumed by the black veil of death.
As the clouds explode all around her, the tears become camouflaged, hidden behind the crystals of rain.
Her sadness is transparent to the world,
But they just pass by as she wilts and withers away.
Her soul was once free.
Her petals were so soft.
Her beauty once illuminated the barren world about her.
She attempts to fight the urge to drown, to succumb to the sky’s liquid
But as she struggles to life her head to the dimly lit heavens,
A lone black boot smashes her last piece of hope into the ground.
Underground films. No, never porn. Underground as in art. As in "My parents fucked Andy Warhol and all I got was this stupid t-shirt."
Hehehe that's a really funny quote.
Been watching Sundance channel for the last 2 hours. Sorry about that.
Posted by Nikalyn at 10:38 PM | Comments (1)
*grins*
And to answer the question everyone is wondering...
No. It's not. Krista drew it at Springfest. But it does look rather good doesn't it? I might have to consider getting one there. Although, I think that would be copying off of Krista. Hrm.
And since Lynz gave me quizzes to do...
Renton! *swoons* Your out of the toilet, moving on,
going striaght and choosing life. Go you.
Which Trainspotting charactor are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Christian! *faints*
Which Ewan Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Casey
Which 'The Faculty' Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Randy Meeks. Always the joker and being a
film buff, he think he knows "all the
rules to successfully survive a horror
movie". Sadly, this is not the case as he
gets killed in the second film.
Which Scream character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Penguin
Which Batman Villian are You?
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You're Phoebe, the youngest and flakiest. You're in
love with the Demon Balthasor!
Which Charmed character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Pentacles
Which Tarot Suit Are You?
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You're a Purist!
What type of LotR fan are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Gabriel. You're most like the ArchAngel of
Communication, in charge of things like
telephones, libraries, internet, and the 411
phone menu. You're organised and are not shy
about inflicting that organisation on others.
Which ArchAngel are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla
Posted by Nikalyn at 12:58 PM | Comments (2)
May 02, 2003
Tattoo Goodness
I like it. :)
However it covers my cool really blue veins.
Posted by Nikalyn at 02:59 PM | Comments (3)
May 01, 2003
My words are weapons
I feel the need to publically apologize for pretty much slamming a certain someone in an earlier entry. Ever have one of those moments where you're feeling so much crap at one time and you feel the need to get something out or you will explode? It was one of those moments. A moment where you rant and rant to no one in particular and don't care if anyone reads it. I didn't think he'd read it because well I didn't think he cared enough to read it. I never intended for him to. And more importantly I didn't mean to hurt him and piss him off with it. It's his life. I have no part in it. I should keep my comments and opinions about it to myself. I have no right to judge him because now I have no idea what he thinks. He's changed a lot. He's a different person than one I used to know and I can't base everything around the man I knew.
I'm a writer. That's what I do. It's what's in my blood to do. Writing is my release, my solace, and my therapy. For the most part what I write is entertaining to people. But something I must realize that although my experiences can bring some kind of pleasure to others not connected to that experience, the person or persons who my writing is about can always look back and be hurt. This is not my plan. Never my intention.
I never wanted to upset him in any way. I never meant to hurt him. The whole last year of my life was dedicated to making him happy. But things happen and things change and we grow up. Things that I thought were real turned out wasn't. We move on. We vanish. And that's just how things go.
Although it might not have looked like it he must know that I never mean to upset him. It's just a big cover because I'm still holding in hurt. I was stupid for allowing all that to come out. A few days down the road I now realize that it was completely idiotic to write all of that. It had no purpose. It was just...stupid. I guess sometimes it takes a few days to realize the decisions you sometimes make are wrong.
I'm sorry Jeremy. And even though this is probably the most badly written apology in history it's still sincere. Just because I say something doesn't mean it makes things right. But at least you can see that I care enough to do it.
I removed the entry in respect those it might offend.
Posted by Nikalyn at 02:42 PM | Comments (2)