Written in regards to him and the fact that I can never think of anything to say to him. My thoughts jumble and I can't talk to him. Also based on the fact that I'm sick of wanting things that regular people can easily get and not ever getting them. I just want love...

I'm suffocating.
These lungs are filled with you.
I inhale you and choke.
I'm dying.
You're all that I can feel.
Slowly sinking under, losing all that's real.
I'm so deep in this feeling.
Can't you see I'm drowning?

Suffocating when I'm around you.
I can't breathe.
I can't speak.
Emotions are overwhelming.
Seeing you makes me die a little.
My throat is closing slowly.
And you don't even notice.
I'm suffocating.

Touch me.
I'm reaching out for you.
Don't you know every move I make is for you?
Stretched so thin, a single kiss would kill me.
Such a blissful way to die.
Alone for such a long time, hiding in the dark.
I've forgotten what it feels to live.
Take your hands from around this neck.
Love me just this once.
Breathe life back into these lungs.
Don't let this heart completely stop its beating.
Rescue me tonight.
Can I live life for the first time with you?

A dream I had last night. About him.

They separated us. You on the far right of the room and I on the far left. I gazed at you through my fingers and silently cursed this ocean of people between us. I look at you. You look at me. We catch each other's eyes. You smile and whisper something in my direction. You turn to your labtop and start playing a song. It's our song. We both know it. It symbolizes everything we are striving for. I laugh.

The vision darkens. The room spins. We're in a different room. You stand in the dark holding your hand out to me. I take it without questioning. We twirl. We spin. The moment is perfect, safe and warm. "I love you," he confesses. In my heart I had always known but the articulation of his voice confirming it was magicial. It kept repeating, this moment of happiness. Over and over it spun in my mind.

"I love you."

"I love you."

"I love you."

And for a split second, I believed it.

I woke up.